I'm an idiot thread

open topic, for anything cycling related.

Re: I'm an idiot thread

Postby find_bruce » Tue Feb 26, 2013 11:27 am

WestcoastPete wrote:Just received two new identical bicycle locks. Took them out of the packets. Each had a "Code card" that you use if you ever need new keys for the lock. Great! Put them safely in the draw of no return.

Then I realised; which code is for which lock?

It is actually an interesting combination of Schrödinger's cat & Sod's law - whilst in the drawer of no return both codes are in an inderminate state, being neither right nor wrong. It is only by the act of observation, being the loss of 1 key and taking 1 code to get a new key, that the code is resolved into a single state - which Sod's law dictates will be wrong. :D
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by BNA » Tue Feb 26, 2013 8:47 pm

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Re: I'm an idiot thread

Postby Joeblake » Tue Feb 26, 2013 8:47 pm

Many years ago I used to perform at folk clubs and I'd pedal around carrying anything from 1 to 4 musical instruments strapped to a rigid framed rucksack. Making the final landing approach along the footpath outside one club in the dark and didn't see a low hanging branch. This caught the neck of the guitar strapped to my back and tried to pluck me from the bike. I grabbed the handle bars and saw the front wheel rising to the occasion. My immediate reaction? Slam on the front brake. :roll: As the branch let go of my guitar I plunged forward and saw my autoharp come flying out of the rucksack and land on the concrete footpath. I waited for it to crumple under tension of 36 strings, but it only got a few minor scratches, which remind me of that night to this moment.

My second one. In the early '90s I was riding my first 'bent trike and I found I was low enough to ride through the metal staples that sometimes inhabit footpaths. As I passed through I heard a scraping sound and then felt a whack on the back of my head. I'd forgotten I had a safety flag on a springy fibre glass pole, and it had bent backwards, then snapped forwards. Luckily I always wear a helmet.

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Re: I'm an idiot thread

Postby westab » Tue Feb 26, 2013 9:31 pm

This morning real idiot :oops: got up at 630 like usual. Had breakfast like usual. Put mrs westab's treadmill away like usual. Made kids lunchs like usual........yada yada yada......kids being slack like usual (getting uniforms on, leaving bowls on table, ...... yada yada yada ........) have shower and start getting self ready for work - pack lunch in pannier, pack cloths, put laptop bag in pannier. Kids and Mrs Westab out the door for school runs, me out the door, alarm on, roll down drive way.

Round first corner near home - bike feels too light for cloths and everything. Stop - check panniers everything there yes must just be going mad :shock: ok of we go.

Still not right - stop again open panniers check again - feel laptop bag - Bag yes - LAPTOP NO :cry: :oops: :cry: BACK HOME get laptop put in bag :oops: glad I was feeling good so tore up hills and made up the time lost - got to work on time :wink: no harm done - and no explaining it to the boss (at work or home). :D

Am going to put laptop in bag now. :mrgreen:
Not fast, no style, but still get there.
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Re: I'm an idiot thread

Postby mikesbytes » Wed Aug 20, 2014 10:51 pm

Driving along the bus lane I suddenly realised I wasn't riding my bike and I was in the bus lane....
A helmet saved my life
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Re: I'm an idiot thread

Postby harmonix1234 » Thu Aug 21, 2014 8:52 am

When I was a kid we moved house one weekend. On Monday after school I caught the bus home, to my old house. Still had my old house key. Let myself in and there was a strange lady in my house who screamed and told me to "GET OUT, GET OUT"!!! Oh yeah, sorry bout that love. Oops!
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Re: I'm an idiot thread

Postby InTheWoods » Thu Aug 21, 2014 9:39 am

harmonix1234 wrote:When I was a kid we moved house one weekend. On Monday after school I caught the bus home, to my old house. Still had my old house key. Let myself in and there was a strange lady in my house who screamed and told me to "GET OUT, GET OUT"!!! Oh yeah, sorry bout that love. Oops!


Every time I get shifted to a different cubicle on the same floor at work, for the next few months (!!) when I'm thinking intensely about a task I'm working on while walking back to my desk, I will find myself standing in my old cubicle...
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Re: I'm an idiot thread

Postby jasonc » Thu Aug 21, 2014 10:17 am

InTheWoods wrote:Every time I get shifted to a different cubicle on the same floor at work, for the next few months (!!) when I'm thinking intensely about a task I'm working on while walking back to my desk, I will find myself standing in my old cubicle...


At least all of yours have been on the same floor.
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Re: I'm an idiot thread

Postby silentC » Thu Aug 21, 2014 11:05 am

Several years ago when I still worked in Sydney. Got up at 6:30 like usual. Had breakfast like usual. Ironed a shirt, had a shower, got dressed. Jumped in the car to drive to work. Had a great run in. Arrived at work half an hour later, drove into the car park underneath our building. No cars. Hmmmm... Oh yeah, public holiday today.
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Re: I'm an idiot thread

Postby westab » Thu Aug 21, 2014 11:07 am

silentC wrote:Several years ago when I still worked in Sydney. Got up at 6:30 like usual. Had breakfast like usual. Ironed a shirt, had a shower, got dressed. Jumped in the car to drive to work. Had a great run in. Arrived at work half an hour later, drove into the car park underneath our building. No cars. Hmmmm... Oh yeah, public holiday today.


So mate which pub did you spend the day at :mrgreen: It's a safety committee meeting you know. :mrgreen:
Not fast, no style, but still get there.
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Re: I'm an idiot thread

Postby silentC » Thu Aug 21, 2014 11:14 am

The Pine Inn on Parramatta Road I think :D
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Re: I'm an idiot thread

Postby GeoffInBrisbane » Thu Aug 21, 2014 12:14 pm

Chopping up the aeropost mount for my Fly 6 (wanted to use half under the seatpost clamp and half above). Stanley knife flicked through, grazed my knuckle. Didn't hurt, had a quick look, little scratch no worries. Carried on(!) but soon realised blood was running down my finger and onto the floor. Had a better look, hmm quite deep, time to go to the pharmacy and get some steri strips (or whatever they are called) and some plaster tape.

I knew it was stupid way to do it, but did it anyway. :roll: :oops:
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Re: I'm an idiot thread

Postby ironhanglider » Thu Aug 21, 2014 4:27 pm

Been wondering what thread to post in, and then this pops up to the top.

Late at night and remember that I'd promised to take the wheelie bin down to the skip and empty it out. Thought that I'd speed up the process and ride it down on my pub bike.

Discovered that speed wobbles, hopf bifurcation or whatever you want to call it can also happen to wheelie bins. Bin gets unstable and bashes into me before tearing out of my grasp and recycling rubbish goes everywhere. In the meantime I virtually crashed with an unplanned dismount, something went into the back wheel and broke two spokes, I end up with a sore back, bruised leg and several minutes of picking up rubbish before continuing the rubbish run on foot.

Cheers,

Cameron
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Re: I'm an idiot thread

Postby ldrcycles » Thu Aug 21, 2014 5:03 pm

Hahaha. I tried the same thing the last time i put out the wheelie bin at my farm, but the driveway is pretty long so i hopped in the car and drove it down with the door open, steering with one hand. The results were not pretty :) .
When man invented the bicycle he reached the peak of his attainments- Elizabeth West.
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Re: I'm an idiot thread

Postby silentC » Thu Aug 21, 2014 5:14 pm

My driveway is short, but I managed it. Have to admit it did cross my mind at the time that I could be explaining how I did it to a doctor in an emergency ward shortly :D

Dumbest thing I ever did on a bike was to pretend to be a cowboy using a dog lead as a lasso. Swinging it around my head, as I rode one-handed down hill, hit a bump, sh**, grab the handle bar with the other hand, sending the catch end of the lead into the front wheel whereupon it wrapped itself around the hub, ripping the other end out of my hand. Result: 2 broken spokes and a bruised finger. Fortunately no-one saw me :)
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Re: I'm an idiot thread

Postby InTheWoods » Thu Aug 21, 2014 6:46 pm

silentC wrote:Dumbest thing I ever did on a bike was to pretend to be a cowboy using a dog lead as a lasso. Swinging it around my head, as I rode one-handed down hill, hit a bump, sh**, grab the handle bar with the other hand, sending the catch end of the lead into the front wheel whereupon it wrapped itself around the hub, ripping the other end out of my hand. Result: 2 broken spokes and a bruised finger. Fortunately no-one saw me :)


Hmm dumbest thing I've done on a bike. When I was a kid, I made a "rocket" for my bike. It consisted of a large tube of cardboard filled with a particular type of dry leaf which burnt with a lot of smoke. The tube had plenty of fins and inlets etc for extra air to fuel the rocket, and obviously had a intake funnel facing forward. I attached it to my bike, lit the leaves at the very front of the intake and started pedalling as fast as a I could. It actually really worked rather well, and when I got to a certain speed, it really went whoosh quite fast.

...The dumb part was I had mounted it on the front forks so all the "exhaust" coming out the back of the tube in a nice stream of burning hot air was aimed precisely at my pedalling right leg.........
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Re: I'm an idiot thread

Postby harmonix1234 » Thu Aug 21, 2014 8:54 pm

I once walked straight through our fly screen door because I didnt notice it was closed.
Took me about an hour to put it back on properly running that little bead in the whole way 'round.

I took my tools back to the shed, turned around, walked straight back through it from the other side.
It stayed off.

My wife said I looked like the Hulk crashing through a wall with the worlds worst spiderweb face.
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Re: I'm an idiot thread

Postby Blinding » Sun Aug 24, 2014 8:42 am

finishing up on a mtb ride in the hills last week, we got soaked so dad put his bike on the bike rack and thenIi put mine on the rack, no dramas, had to strip off a layer before jumping into the car and off we went down the road, dad so happens to glance in the mirror and see's that I had forgotten to put the straps on my bike, I said Oh showtime! He says to me "I thought you were gonna strap it" I then reply "I thought you were going to" lucky enough we were able to pull over with it still balancing on the rack :D
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Re: I'm an idiot thread

Postby dmwill » Sun Aug 24, 2014 4:35 pm

Trimming cable housing while the cable is still inside said housing.

Done it twice this year :(
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Re: I'm an idiot thread

Postby Tzantushka » Tue Aug 26, 2014 10:11 pm

Daily ride is a Peugeot with downtube shifters.
Looking at upgrading.
Took a few 2014 bikes for a test ride...
Kept reaching down to change gears...
Repeatedly.


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Re: I'm an idiot thread

Postby anttismo » Wed Sep 03, 2014 3:05 pm

Flipped my pub bike (heavy 26" MTB with slicks and very low gearing) in my drivway at about 5 km/h. Was trying to go very slow in small gear and balance with rear brake but got it wrong. Somehow I didn't just put leg down but kind of lost balance as I fell, twisted my knee quite hard and smashed back of head onto pavement. I would have been knocked out without helmet. Annoying part was my knee took about 6 months to come good. I race motorbikes and was severly limited at track sessions for a month or two do to knee soreness at full bend (i.e. when I corner). 2 months earlier I had perfromed 200km/h dismount at the hayshed at philip island with barely a scratch, now injured from walking pace pushie crash in my driveway...

Sometime later I pulled off another ripper. Rolling along on 26" cruiser BMX 2km to work and perfomring "manuals" - i.e. just standing and leaning back, wheelying without peddling when also flipped. Unfortunately foot slipped on pavement and again went down hard flat on my back. This was on my way to work for my (at the time) role managing a high profile re-sourcing project at work with important, serious people. "sorry to be late to meeting guys with scruffing looking business clothes, just flipped my BMX on way to work" :lol:

Anyway, I think I wheelie motorbikes pretty well - dirt bikes, race bikes, whatever. It's this pushbike stuff I can't seem to get a handle on :lol:
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Re: I'm an idiot thread

Postby harmonix1234 » Wed Sep 03, 2014 4:41 pm

Ok, time to digress.

Once upon a band, we did a support gig for Boom Crash Opera and the Choirboys on New Years Eve.
It was an outdoor gig and we were provided with a caravn situated in between several dozen almost identical caravans.

I was young, and a bit reckless, and somehow managed to ingest a whole bottle of vodka on top of two six packs after the gig.
We hung out with the guys from the other bands and partied until it was time for me to retire to the caravan.
My key didn't seem to fit in the door, or maybe I was just too drunk to get it to work. Ashamdely now I look back, at the time I thought the best thing to do was to 'help' the door open with my boot.
Once in, I laid down, had a mighty spew all over the bed, passed out for a bit and then woke up and raided the fridge. Sweet! A roast chicken! Nom nom. Passed out again.

I woke up later on, not sure how long and ran outside for another heave.
I was round the side of the caravan having a spew between what seemed like about a dozen harley davidsons when I heard some voices from inside the caravan. Swearing and threats of revenge and 'If I find out who dun this, i'm gonna tie him to the back of my harley and take him out into the forest'.

It turns out that I had kicked in the door of the rebels caravan thinking it was my caravan, spewed all over their bed and left a half eaten chicken on the floor.

I don't remember much after that, but I woke up on the beach about 300 meters away, and by the time I made it back to the camping grounds the rebels had all but cleared out.

Ultimate idiot. Things you do when you are young and stupid.
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Re: I'm an idiot thread

Postby silentC » Wed Sep 03, 2014 5:14 pm

If you're going to add alcohol into the mix, where do I start? :D
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Re: I'm an idiot thread

Postby Summernight » Thu Sep 04, 2014 10:59 am

harmonix1234 wrote:Ok, time to digress.

Once upon a band, we did a support gig for Boom Crash Opera and the Choirboys on New Years Eve.
It was an outdoor gig and we were provided with a caravn situated in between several dozen almost identical caravans.

I was young, and a bit reckless, and somehow managed to ingest a whole bottle of vodka on top of two six packs after the gig.
We hung out with the guys from the other bands and partied until it was time for me to retire to the caravan.
My key didn't seem to fit in the door, or maybe I was just too drunk to get it to work. Ashamdely now I look back, at the time I thought the best thing to do was to 'help' the door open with my boot.
Once in, I laid down, had a mighty spew all over the bed, passed out for a bit and then woke up and raided the fridge. Sweet! A roast chicken! Nom nom. Passed out again.

I woke up later on, not sure how long and ran outside for another heave.
I was round the side of the caravan having a spew between what seemed like about a dozen harley davidsons when I heard some voices from inside the caravan. Swearing and threats of revenge and 'If I find out who dun this, i'm gonna tie him to the back of my harley and take him out into the forest'.

It turns out that I had kicked in the door of the rebels caravan thinking it was my caravan, spewed all over their bed and left a half eaten chicken on the floor.

I don't remember much after that, but I woke up on the beach about 300 meters away, and by the time I made it back to the camping grounds the rebels had all but cleared out.

Ultimate idiot. Things you do when you are young and stupid.


Oh, so that was you....

:twisted:

(Just kidding)
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Re: I'm an idiot thread

Postby fat and old » Mon Sep 08, 2014 8:00 am

30 k's into a nice ride yesterday and I puncture. New tube, that's ok. Only took 1 more for the second puncture....I missed the wire that caused the first. 8 Km walk home :? Wore a hole through both socks, my favourite ones too.

I have 2 tubes now, like normal
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Re: I'm an idiot thread

Postby g-boaf » Mon Sep 08, 2014 10:00 am

I share your frustration there - I lost a near new GP4000S on Saturday to a small shard of glass from a beer bottle. I managed to get home thanks to putting a $10 note inside the tyre and a new tube to go with it, and ride home as cautiously as possible. :(
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