Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh

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Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh

Postby you cannot be sirrus » Sat Apr 27, 2013 11:50 am

My g/f of 27 years likes to ride on bike paths on non windy days when the temp is 22C and there's nothing on the TV, occasionally she asks me to join her. As long as I do that and look like I'm enjoying it (which I do) she pretty much lets me ride when I want.
She does draw the line at me whinging about riders posting KOMs on Strava on windy days, today it's blowing a gale and I've seen two mates smash some KOMs, fortunately the g/f is overseas so I can whinge to the dog, he doesn't care.
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by BNA » Sat Apr 27, 2013 11:57 am

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Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh

Postby reefer » Sat Apr 27, 2013 11:57 am

you cannot be sirrus wrote:My g/f of 27 years .


LOL, your married…..
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Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh

Postby trailgumby » Sat Apr 27, 2013 12:00 pm

reefer wrote:
you cannot be sirrus wrote:My g/f of 27 years .


LOL, you're married…..

x2. But very sweet that you still call her your G/F :D
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Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh

Postby jcjordan » Sat Apr 27, 2013 12:14 pm

My wife has commented a couple of time that she thinks my 'habit' is insane. But loves the fact that she does not have to share the car in the morning.

Do have to worl on building up the brownie points so that I can get away for the AGF Grand Fondo and TDU.
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Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh

Postby BianchiCam » Sat Apr 27, 2013 12:31 pm

ft_critical wrote:Now seriously, I would be quite disappointed to find out that I am the only person here married to uncycling wife.



I must have the best wife then. Not only does she let me ride although gets cranky when I am late back, she also let's me off for weekends on the motorbike! Sometimes even with my 9 year old son!

Sure, she is a little concerned but has never said no.

Beat that. I am truly blessed it seems.

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Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh

Postby Ken Ho » Sat Apr 27, 2013 12:54 pm

Dude, it's not about the cycling, it's about the control. The more you try and please her, the worse it will get.
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Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh

Postby JessicaAlba » Sat Apr 27, 2013 1:36 pm

Ken Ho wrote:Dude, it's not about the cycling, it's about the control. The more you try and please her, the worse it will get.


This.

No one is saying you need to leave her, or tell her to go and get..., but (unless I am reading your OP wrong), sounds to me like she is trying to make you do what she wants and if you don't, the crap will hit the fan. That is totally unfair and just plain wrong.

Does your wife have any hobbies or interests and do you prevent her from being involved in them??
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Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh

Postby trailgumby » Sat Apr 27, 2013 1:42 pm

Ken Ho wrote:Dude, it's not about the cycling, it's about the control. The more you try and please her, the worse it will get.

I think I'm going to have to say +1

There needs to be some give on both sides. Sounds like there needs to be a serious discussion about what you both want.

Good on you for having the balls to ask for help
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Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh

Postby you cannot be sirrus » Sat Apr 27, 2013 2:00 pm

trailgumby wrote:
reefer wrote:
you cannot be sirrus wrote:My g/f of 27 years .


LOL, you're married…..

x2. But very sweet that you still call her your G/F :D

She won't make an honest man of me even after 27 years. I reckon if we got married she'd change so I'll stick as we are :)
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Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh

Postby petie » Sat Apr 27, 2013 2:17 pm

Ken Ho wrote:Dude, it's not about the cycling, it's about the control. The more you try and please her, the worse it will get.


QFT.
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Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh

Postby trailgumby » Sat Apr 27, 2013 2:22 pm

Quantum field theory? :wink:
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Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh

Postby rkelsen » Sat Apr 27, 2013 2:38 pm

ft_critical wrote:So my wife hates cycling. I feel sometimes there is deliberate spite in her attempts to deny my attempts to ride even though I have stripped every pleasure from my life except cycling.

Get out before kids come along.

Find someone who is happy to see you happy.
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Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh

Postby foo on patrol » Sat Apr 27, 2013 2:47 pm

Anyone noticed FT has not responded to this thread? :shock: Should we send in the troops to save him or is it to late, because his other half has read this thread
and has already hog tied him and cut out his man bits? :lol:

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Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh

Postby Venus62 » Sat Apr 27, 2013 2:53 pm

I'm a wife and I can't imagine trying to impose that sort of control on my husband even if I wanted to! I've only recently taken up cycling more seriously but even before that I was fine with his cycling because a) it is keeping him fit and b) it gives him the chance to catch up with a mate and chat; something guys don't often do. And now that I cycle too, we have something else we can do together. Just did a lovely 30km ride on the Sunshine Coast this morning. In summary, I don't think the OP's wife should be considered representative of the gender.
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Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh

Postby Lizzy » Sat Apr 27, 2013 3:33 pm

JessicaAlba wrote:Does your wife have any hobbies or interests and do you prevent her from being involved in them??


This is a key question I reckon. Hope things get better for the OP one way or another :?
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Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh

Postby philip » Sat Apr 27, 2013 4:24 pm

Ken Ho wrote:Dude, it's not about the cycling, it's about the control. The more you try and please her, the worse it will get.


I agree that's it's not about the cycling but it doesn't necessarily have to be about control. It could just be that she doesn't feel good that he's out doing something he enjoys without her. If that's the case I'd say she just needs to find her own thing to do, hobby or whatever. ft, tell her she has it good, you're not out late getting hammered at the pub each night!
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Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh

Postby gpz1100 » Sat Apr 27, 2013 5:14 pm

Walk the dog, do the dishes
Your lips are brown from kissing ass
Sorry guys I can't make it
Maybe next time, think I'll pass
Don't make her mad, don't make her sad
A fate for you that's worse than death
you're a slave and you don't know it
It always happens to the best

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Don't you know you're pussywhipped
Pussywhipped, Pussywhipped

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Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh

Postby ft_critical » Sat Apr 27, 2013 5:48 pm

OMGosh!

Probably you think me naive. My intention in this post was that I expected others to be in the same situation and would benefit from my clever, ‘stay un-cycling whenever possible’ logic.
Incidentally, I mentioned the forum reaction to my wife. She is not happy. Oh dear.
But this isn’t about dissing my wife, in any way. I probably didn’t want it to focus in on me, I was more thinking this was a general discussion. There are some other issues she is keen to raise. So she is a foreign national, two kids, working full-time. Her main issue is quality family time. That is where the obsession thing annoys her. I don’t think it is about control, nor safety. It is more unencumbered commitment to the family.
I actually get it. My sister was a champion horsewoman. And our family became horse obsessed. I felt ostracized. I think that keeping my hobby, my passion, my obsession in a box makes sense. I think it is a question of balance. It is true the skew is wrong, she is too anti-cycling, but I think the result of this last compromise will be harmony.
Much more soul bearing here than intended. Sorry.
FWIW, stripping away, means children first, work, wife, cycling and there is nothing left. My Friday night with the boys is a 20min coffee with the Boundary Riders (which is way, way better.)

No FT's were harmed as a result of this thread Foo.
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Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh

Postby toolonglegs » Sat Apr 27, 2013 5:55 pm

About to go on a quick family holiday... I wasn't going to take the bike. When I mention this to Loli, she looks at me funny and says... "we are going to Brittany, are you feeling OK?" ... Hehe
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Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh

Postby HLC » Sat Apr 27, 2013 6:08 pm

Time for a new wife champ.
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Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh

Postby rogan » Sat Apr 27, 2013 7:10 pm

trailgumby wrote:Quantum field theory? :wink:


Quote for today I reckon it means.

I'm not going to comment on the domestic situations of others, not even facetiously. :D

My story:

"The deal is this. I rode when you met me. It's not your fault, but for a whole range of reasons I stopped riding for several years. I put on 35 kg, and became slow and fat. I ride again. It is adding years, healthy years, to my life, and I can keep up with the kids, etc.

I am not going to live on water and lettuce, I have one life and I am going to eat stuff I like and drink alcohol. That means I need to exercise. A 20 minute jog twice a week will not cut it, and I hate jogging anyway. Being a competitive spirit, mere exercise is not enough. I like to be as good as I can be, which means racing a bit. It's a good example to the kids. I look good and feel great. I can keep doing it till I'm 60+.

But there are some sacrifices. For you, mostly time on weekend mornings. Also, it is likely, that one day, you will get a call from me somewhere, telling you you need to come and pick me up. Hopefully not from a hospital.

But the upside vastly outweighs the downside, we can always discuss the specifics of what I do day to day, and I can compromise when there are other things going on. One day I might choose to stop, or take up something else. But it won't happen just because you complained about it long enough and hard enough."
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Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh

Postby bychosis » Sat Apr 27, 2013 7:16 pm

ZepinAtor wrote:There's always a bling comp going on here. There isn't one corner of the house without some sort of cycling theme going on. We have an MTB disc rotor paper towel dispenser in the kitchen, 14 bike chains for a handrail on our main stair case, a Cinelli stem toilet roll holder & a chain + big ring carved into the coffee table to hold the TV remotes.


Need some pictures of these please!
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Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh

Postby trailgumby » Sat Apr 27, 2013 7:17 pm

rogan wrote:
trailgumby wrote:Quantum field theory? :wink:


Quote for today I reckon it means.

Quoted for Truth, actually. Quantum field theory came up second on search. :D

TLA's (three letter acronyms) run rampant at my work, someone needs to take the piss occasionally to keep things comprehensible. :wink:
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Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh

Postby foo on patrol » Sat Apr 27, 2013 7:39 pm

ft_critical wrote:OMGosh!

Probably you think me naive. My intention in this post was that I expected others to be in the same situation and would benefit from my clever, ‘stay un-cycling whenever possible’ logic.
Incidentally, I mentioned the forum reaction to my wife. She is not happy. Oh dear.
But this isn’t about dissing my wife, in any way. I probably didn’t want it to focus in on me, I was more thinking this was a general discussion. There are some other issues she is keen to raise. So she is a foreign national, two kids, working full-time. Her main issue is quality family time. That is where the obsession thing annoys her. I don’t think it is about control, nor safety. It is more unencumbered commitment to the family.
I actually get it. My sister was a champion horsewoman. And our family became horse obsessed. I felt ostracized. I think that keeping my hobby, my passion, my obsession in a box makes sense. I think it is a question of balance. It is true the skew is wrong, she is too anti-cycling, but I think the result of this last compromise will be harmony.
Much more soul bearing here than intended. Sorry.
FWIW, stripping away, means children first, work, wife, cycling and there is nothing left. My Friday night with the boys is a 20min coffee with the Boundary Riders (which is way, way better.)

No FT's were harmed as a result of this thread Foo.


:lol: I can uncross my legs now and not worry about the bag of peas thawing out. :mrgreen:

If she is not happy about the reaction from us, then she needs to realise that we are probably right in our thoughts on the subject. :wink: Marriage is give and take = compromise on issues of me time on both sides. 31yrs of marriage here and two kids. :)

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Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh

Postby ft_critical » Sat Apr 27, 2013 7:53 pm

rogan wrote: Also, it is likely, that one day, you will get a call from me somewhere, telling you you need to come and pick me up. Hopefully not from a hospital.


I have made that call. The second one I made was permission to use our private heath excess for the operation. I was trying to stay public to reduce the expense. But it meant that I would have had to stay longer, so it was agreed.
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