Lady cyclists: please be killed politely

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Lady cyclists: please be killed politely

Postby Ross » Tue Apr 30, 2013 4:44 pm ... ely/102195

I very rarely have a rant. But today, I ventured onto the road in Challis Street Dickson. There are little bicycles painted on the road. I was riding right over them on the left hand side of the road, near Dame Pattie Menzies House.

Suddenly a car passed me, pulled in ahead of me (that is, to the extreme left of the road) and started reversing towards me. I managed to move slightly into a car parking spot to my left and stop. Then he eventually braked. The left hand side of his car was about 2 cm away from my right pedal. He unwound the window and said ‘Sorry love, but I need to park.’

In other words, he thought it was legitimate to start reversing into a park even if it meant possibly taking out a cyclist. It’s only because I am so slow that I managed to stop my bike and move over into the car parking spots, and only because the rear of my bike was right in front of his intended park that he acknowledged me.

I told him he was a f***ing idiot, and he said ‘How very ladylike. But I suppose you’re not a lady.’ So not only did he nearly kill me, but after calling me ‘love’ he followed it up with a little sexist homily.

Etiquette tips from a moron who thinks it is fine to endanger a life to get a park are my very favourite type of etiquette tip.

Now I feel so much better. But I think I’ll probably stick to pavements and bike-paths for a while.

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Re: Lady cyclists: please be killed politely

Postby Summernight » Tue Apr 30, 2013 5:16 pm

I will be sure to lie down and die with a smile on my face (on the half that is left anyway) and a polite "Why thank you for hitting and killing me. I hope you have a lovely day and a long and prosperous life." to the driver of said offending vehicle.


Sometimes swearing is the only way to get the point across.

My response to "Sorry love, but I need to park" might be "Sorry mate, but I need to live." But then again I'm terrible with quick comebacks in stressful situations. They never come into my brain in time to be effective.

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Re: Lady cyclists: please be killed politely

Postby russells » Wed May 01, 2013 10:58 pm

Unfortunately we all meet them eventually. No matter how hard I try I eventually have to get off a path and on to the road.
I also love those dummy "bike lanes"... every 50 or 60 metres, a short line and a picture of a bike. In between, nothing. Theres a classic on Burke Road where it crosses the Eastern Freeway in Kew. I think the legal term is "enticement", making you think it's safe when it really isn't.

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