Great Commuting Come Backs

[Dial]

As commuters, from time to time you come across motorists with issues. Motorists that are hell bend on teaching “you” a lesson. Generally it’s not a good idea to take them on but sometimes stuff happens and you ride away with… dare a say it, a grin on your face. I’d love to here about your experiences where the motorist has come off second best.

[Kalgrm]

I know what you're asking, and I'm hoping for replies in that vein too, but our greatest revenge is the heart attack* that's waiting for drivers at the end of their trip.

Cheers,
Graeme

* Substitute any of the following here:

- diabetes
- morbidity
- ugliness
- stress

[trailgumby]

Teenage motorist: "Get a car!"
Old fart cyclist: "Get a BIKE!"

It's lame but it's a start...

[Kev365428]

Well, it's not a verbal comeback, but it is a comeback of sorts......

<edit> Mmm, didn't happen on a commute either. Does that still count then? </edit>

Riding down a steepish hill on Campbelltown Rd this morning, prolly doing around 45/50km/h or so, I could sense the presence of the car behind me. It took me all of 45 seconds to descend the hill, all the while hearing the car rev then brake, rev then brake. when the opportunity arose for him to overtake, he did so with great gusto. Power down and exceeding the speed limit by a healthy margin to get in front of me.

300 meters down the road the lights changed to red. He stopped, while I caught up.
Noticing that the alternate traffic had started to stop at the lights, I continued to pedal and timed it to perfection, hitting the lights right as they turned green, and I sped past the impatient one with real zeal.

The impatient one hammered it from the lights and passed me like a bat outa hell, even though there was now a substantial shoulder for me to ride on, only to brake hard again to enter the dual lane roundabout.
If he had looked back at me, he would have seen me laughing my arse off at him, and the $15 worth of fuel he just burnt to stay ahead of me.

Still chuckling now.

Kev.

[hartleymartin]

Cycling around the CBD on a Raleigh Utility (Single Speed, very low gear), I managed to race an Ambulance down George Street and beat him. Perhaps that says more about the traffic conditions than my aptitude as a cyclist.

[xavdav]

On my usual commute last year,at peak hour, the M2 was packed and I was going faster than everybody else well almost everybody else, some d!ck head in a Land cruiser thought he would be smarter than everybody else and drive around the traffic by using the emergency stop/bicycle lane He of course had a go at me as I was in is way, I resisted a couple of minutes before pulling over to let him pass me and calling me names that I could not write on that forum .
About 3km later I caught up with him as he was pulled over by coppers on motorbikes, obviously for driving illegally in the emergency stop lane I then took the luxury of dismounting and tell to one of the coppers (there was 3 of them) that this guy abused me and almost ran me over so he could go faster; the copper told me "is that so? No worries mate, we are going to take care of him" before walking to his workmate who was talking to the b@stard and report his finding . I then rode to work without any trouble and very light harted

[hartleymartin]

On my usual commute last year,at peak hour, the M2 was packed and I was going faster than everybody else well almost everybody else, some d!ck head in a Land cruiser thought he would be smarter than everybody else and drive around the traffic by using the emergency stop/bicycle lane He of course had a go at me as I was in is way, I resisted a couple of minutes before pulling over to let him pass me and calling me names that I could not write on that forum .
About 3km later I caught up with him as he was pulled over by coppers on motorbikes, obviously for driving illegally in the emergency stop lane I then took the luxury of dismounting and tell to one of the coppers (there was 3 of them) that this guy abused me and almost ran me over so he could go faster; the copper told me "is that so? No worries mate, we are going to take care of him" before walking to his workmate who was talking to the b@stard and report his finding . I then rode to work without any trouble and very light harted

Oh, I love this one. He was being a dick-head and got busted for it. I almost want to join the police force just so I can book people for abusing me when I am commuting.

[Pax]

Caught up with a dick who had shouted out of the passenger window just as his girlfriend (I assume) drew alongside me. Startled me and made me pretty pissed...anyway caught up with them at the lights felt like giving him a spray but instead just stoppped along side him and asked if he felt a little embarrassed now...he laughed and said "yep" we spoke for a minute and went our separate ways once the lights changed.

Felt like i got a message across without extra agro....who knows

[tinhorn]

On my usual commute last year,at peak hour, the M2 was packed and I was going faster than everybody else well almost everybody else, some d!ck head in a Land cruiser thought he would be smarter than everybody else and drive around the traffic by using the emergency stop/bicycle lane He of course had a go at me as I was in is way, I resisted a couple of minutes before pulling over to let him pass me and calling me names that I could not write on that forum .
About 3km later I caught up with him as he was pulled over by coppers on motorbikes, obviously for driving illegally in the emergency stop lane I then took the luxury of dismounting and tell to one of the coppers (there was 3 of them) that this guy abused me and almost ran me over so he could go faster; the copper told me "is that so? No worries mate, we are going to take care of him" before walking to his workmate who was talking to the b@stard and report his finding . I then rode to work without any trouble and very light harted

Excellent tale!

[Boognoss]

On my usual commute last year,at peak hour, the M2 was packed and I was going faster than everybody else well almost everybody else, some d!ck head in a Land cruiser thought he would be smarter than everybody else and drive around the traffic by using the emergency stop/bicycle lane He of course had a go at me as I was in is way, I resisted a couple of minutes before pulling over to let him pass me and calling me names that I could not write on that forum .
About 3km later I caught up with him as he was pulled over by coppers on motorbikes, obviously for driving illegally in the emergency stop lane I then took the luxury of dismounting and tell to one of the coppers (there was 3 of them) that this guy abused me and almost ran me over so he could go faster; the copper told me "is that so? No worries mate, we are going to take care of him" before walking to his workmate who was talking to the b@stard and report his finding . I then rode to work without any trouble and very light harted

Excellent tale!

+ lots. Brilliant. Generally there never is a cop around when you want them to be.

[Dial]

4WD

I was riding along in the left hand lane when this driver came across at me and nearly took me out. Seeing as the left arrow at the lights was red, I thought no problem I'll move into the right lane. Just as I'm passing him he pulls out on me again! So I gave him the finger as I rode past, which he took offence to and chased me up the road.

When he drew level with me he starts squeezing me into the parked cars on the side of the road. Having side bars on my bike I thought “Alright, I can play that game. If you want a nice gouge down the side of your car, go for it”. He realises he’s not going to win that game and out of the blue, slams on the brakes. I had no time to react and flew past, catching his side mirror (at the pivot point) with my side bar. I just about clean ripped the whole mirror off. It was left daggling there in a very sad state. At this point I decided it was game over. I hit the footpath and a few back streets and got out of there.

I think it took days to wipe the smile off my face. Even now I’m smiling while writing. However I do get a bit nervous when I ride that stretch of road. I’m always on the look-out for that light blue Camry

[Dial]

One game I like to play with drivers on the main road who keep beeping at you to get out of the way, even though its heavy traffic and travelling slowly. I slow down and come to a stop in front of them. After checking out my bike I give them a puzzled look and go "What?"

[m@]

IMO the very best comeback for an aggro driver is to take a few deep breaths and enjoy the rest of the ride.

[trailgumby]

Caught up with a dick who had shouted out of the passenger window just as his girlfriend (I assume) drew alongside me. Startled me and made me pretty pissed...anyway caught up with them at the lights felt like giving him a spray but instead just stoppped along side him and asked if he felt a little embarrassed now...he laughed and said "yep" we spoke for a minute and went our separate ways once the lights changed.

Ha! That's even better than getting aggro. Well done.

[notaero]

Not so much a come back as come uppance - a woman in Nedlands who quite honestly looked like an air headed trophy wife 10 years past her use buy date insisted on squeezing me up into a curb so that she could overtake me less than 10m from a round about that she stopped at. In doing so she ran over a bottle and got a flat tyre. She was yelling so hard at me with the windows up that I could hear her say this is all your bloody fault. I gave her a smile and wave and I think she went a new colour of purple. I would have helped her change it if not for her instance that bikes do not belong on the roads.

[m@]

Not so much a come back as come uppance - a woman in Nedlands who quite honestly looked like an air headed trophy wife 10 years past her use buy date insisted on squeezing me up into a curb so that she could overtake me less than 10m from a round about that she stopped at. In doing so she ran over a bottle and got a flat tyre. She was yelling so hard at me with the windows up that I could hear her say this is all your bloody fault. I gave her a smile and wave and I think she went a new colour of purple. I would have helped her change it if not for her instance that bikes do not belong on the roads.

Beautiful!

[Mulger bill]

Not so much a come back as come uppance - a woman in Nedlands who quite honestly looked like an air headed trophy wife 10 years past her use buy date insisted on squeezing me up into a curb so that she could overtake me less than 10m from a round about that she stopped at. In doing so she ran over a bottle and got a flat tyre. She was yelling so hard at me with the windows up that I could hear her say this is all your bloody fault. I gave her a smile and wave and I think she went a new colour of purple. I would have helped her change it if not for her instance that bikes do not belong on the roads.

Beautiful!

+1, your Karma really did run over her dogma

Shaun

[Kev365428]

Riding down the M5 on the way home on Tuesday, and a ute with trailer came past and sounded his horn whilst quite close to me. Scared the crapola outa me.

Unluckily for ute-man, the traffic had come to it's usual peak-hour stop only 500 meters up the road. I put in a minutes worth of effort so i could catch up.

Rode up to the ute, with both the driver and passenger blissfully unaware of my presence. Passenger had his window down so as I rode past, I let go with an extremely loud "Beeeeeeep".

Poor bastard in the passenger seat near leapt outa his skin.

A quick look back saw the passenger mouthing off and the driver pissing himself laughing.

Oddly enough, no further acts of stupidity when they past me again some 2km or so down the road.

Chalk one up for the commuter.

Kev.

[DionM]

Water bottles make great improvised water pistols through open windows or convertibles with the top down.

That is all.

[Biffidus]

A smile and a wave seems to work best. Apparently there's nothing as infuriating as a happy cyclist.

[hartleymartin]

Not so much a come back as come uppance - a woman in Nedlands who quite honestly looked like an air headed trophy wife 10 years past her use buy date insisted on squeezing me up into a curb so that she could overtake me less than 10m from a round about that she stopped at. In doing so she ran over a bottle and got a flat tyre. She was yelling so hard at me with the windows up that I could hear her say this is all your bloody fault. I gave her a smile and wave and I think she went a new colour of purple. I would have helped her change it if not for her instance that bikes do not belong on the roads.

You should have been all good Samaritan about it and help her change the tyre. Nothing annoys people more than when you are nice to them. The nicer you are - the more annoyed they get. Then afterwards, they start to feel guilty for being abusive at someone who was really just so nice to them.

Well, I would have done it, except I have no idea how to change car wheels properly - I'm a cyclist not a motorist.

[trailgumby]

Not so much a come back as come uppance - a woman in Nedlands who quite honestly looked like an air headed trophy wife 10 years past her use buy date insisted on squeezing me up into a curb so that she could overtake me less than 10m from a round about that she stopped at. In doing so she ran over a bottle and got a flat tyre. She was yelling so hard at me with the windows up that I could hear her say this is all your bloody fault. I gave her a smile and wave and I think she went a new colour of purple. I would have helped her change it if not for her instance that bikes do not belong on the roads.

You should have been all good Samaritan about it and help her change the tyre. Nothing annoys people more than when you are nice to them. The nicer you are - the more annoyed they get. Then afterwards, they start to feel guilty for being abusive at someone who was really just so nice to them.

Well, I would have done it, except I have no idea how to change car wheels properly - I'm a cyclist not a motorist.

The problem with that type of woman (the "lollipop" - slim figure with big breasts, a limited work ethic and limited brains, aka the typical trophy wife) is that all their life they've been fawned over by men, and get so used it they start to think of it as their right. There'd be no shaming her, she'd just assume you were doing what you're supposed to.

Yes, I'm making a judgement based on limited information, but trust me, notaero has pegged her exactly - the description is completely consistent.

[boyracer]

Riding home one night, a couple of lads in a shitebox gemini tried egging me, missed, and kept going. I flexxed after them and sure enough they got a red light (there is a slight bend in road, obscuring their view back down the road...anzac hwy and morphett rd) was thinking of the old water bottle/pistol, but they saw me round the bend doing 50ish and floored it through the red light around the corner....right in front of officer plod!!! i stopped and told the cop what was up, pointing out the 3 doz eggs,open, on rear seat. also pointed out the bald tyres and busted taillight. Cop said" guess you lads might be back on the bmx bikes,too "
gold.

[casual_cyclist]

Riding home one night, a couple of lads in a shitebox gemini tried egging me, missed, and kept going. I flexxed after them and sure enough they got a red light (there is a slight bend in road, obscuring their view back down the road...anzac hwy and morphett rd) was thinking of the old water bottle/pistol, but they saw me round the bend doing 50ish and floored it through the red light around the corner....right in front of officer plod!!! i stopped and told the cop what was up, pointing out the 3 doz eggs,open, on rear seat. also pointed out the bald tyres and busted taillight. Cop said" guess you lads might be back on the bmx bikes,too "
gold.

+1 GOLD GOLD GOLD

[Mulger bill]

Riding home one night, a couple of lads in a shitebox gemini tried egging me, missed, and kept going. I flexxed after them and sure enough they got a red light (there is a slight bend in road, obscuring their view back down the road...anzac hwy and morphett rd) was thinking of the old water bottle/pistol, but they saw me round the bend doing 50ish and floored it through the red light around the corner....right in front of officer plod!!! i stopped and told the cop what was up, pointing out the 3 doz eggs,open, on rear seat. also pointed out the bald tyres and busted taillight. Cop said" guess you lads might be back on the bmx bikes,too "
gold.

Woo Hoo, where's the applause smiley?

Chocolate coated GOLD

Shaun