Tips on getting wifey to start riding.

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GasCyclist
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Tips on getting wifey to start riding.

Postby GasCyclist » Mon Nov 24, 2014 9:59 am

Hey everyone,

Wanting to try and get my wife to start cycling. She isn't keen on the idea but i'm sure once she goes for a few rides she will love it.
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zebee
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Re: Tips on getting wifey to start riding.

Postby zebee » Mon Nov 24, 2014 10:19 am

GasCyclist wrote:Hey everyone,

Wanting to try and get my wife to start cycling. She isn't keen on the idea but i'm sure once she goes for a few rides she will love it.


Why are you sure? Because you do?

I suggest you find out what she doesn't like about it. Does she think it will be uncomfortable? Does she think you will want to ride fast? Does she think it is unsafe sharing the road with cars? Does she think it is something only fit people will do?

Why are you sure you know what she wants and likes better than she does?

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GasCyclist
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Re: Tips on getting wifey to start riding.

Postby GasCyclist » Mon Nov 24, 2014 10:34 am

Just thought it would be something nice to do together. Anyways don't worry about it.
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silentC
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Re: Tips on getting wifey to start riding.

Postby silentC » Mon Nov 24, 2014 10:43 am

My wife is very nervous about riding on the road. But we ride together fairly often on the shared path and other places. We have to ride a bit on the road (50k zone) to get there. After a few times doing it with me, she's done it a couple of times on her own.

I'd say just get her and the bike somewhere away from traffic for a few rides until she's comfortable on the bike, then introduce a short bit on the tar so she can see that it's OK. Work your way up gently and don't get pushy.

My wife is now on Strava and she's always keen to see her PRs etc. But she still doesn't like riding on the road and avoids it as much as possible.

It is a nice thing to do and I get the kids to come along too whenever I can drag them away from their iPads. I bought a 4-bike rack for the car so we can drive to the nearby track. Too hilly for my kids to ride from here unfortunately.
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Re: Tips on getting wifey to start riding.

Postby lobstermash » Mon Nov 24, 2014 11:28 am

It's about finding the moments of opportunity. Numerous times a year, most people decide they want to get fit. Pick that time to gently guide her to a bike shop, buy her whichever bike that takes her fancy (that fits) and hope she gets hooked while the enthusiasm's still there. Make sure she tries out ebikes too, which are a great gateway for non-cyclists to enjoy cycling with more experienced riders. Also try going places that you'd normally drive to - it forms a sense of achievement and meaning to cycling.
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silentC
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Re: Tips on getting wifey to start riding.

Postby silentC » Mon Nov 24, 2014 11:40 am

Also try going places that you'd normally drive to

+1

We developed a bit of a habit of riding to a cafe in the next town to have breakfast of a Saturday morning. She also rides to the gym instead of driving. I ride with her to the gym, then I go and do my usual hour morning ride and meet her on the way back to 'escort' her on the road and back home. It all came to a bit of a halt after she had a bad magpie attack in September but now that they've settled down, it's back on. Or will be when I get my foot out of this moon boot.
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Re: Tips on getting wifey to start riding.

Postby OldBloke » Mon Nov 24, 2014 12:43 pm

After about thirty years of not riding and concerns about fitness and balance on a bike, my wife is now enjoying her recumbent trike. We bought two of them, I ride about three or four times a week, my wife rides about once a week. She is slowly building up time and distance. At some stage we may consider adding pedelec to her trike if she needs it.

OB

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Thoglette
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Re: Tips on getting wifey to start riding.

Postby Thoglette » Mon Nov 24, 2014 1:07 pm

lobstermash wrote: Make sure she tries out ebikes too, which are a great gateway for non-cyclists to enjoy cycling with more experienced riders.

+1 Having sold the tandem tis the only way to get TMOW&F out with the family.

Pick quiet locations, off road if possible; walk to cross major roads; go slow and KEEP IT SHORT.

Nothing like sore nether regions or aggrevating an old injury (knees, neck, wrists) to make the first ride the last ride.
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Re: Tips on getting wifey to start riding.

Postby Chainmail » Mon Nov 24, 2014 2:45 pm

Wow Zeebee! A bit harsh. The guy only wants to share.
GasCyclist - Can I suggest you look for a BUG with a good skills program and a lot of women riders. There's safety in numbers, people to share those female specific cycling issues/questions with and perhaps more people riding at her level. And make sure she has the RIGHT saddle. Oh, and if you really are a GasCyclist you might want to make sure you ride behind her.

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Re: Tips on getting wifey to start riding.

Postby cp123 » Mon Nov 24, 2014 3:33 pm

ride with her at her pace. nothing worse than a fella that zooms up every hill and waits for her at the top. you have to sell her the benefits and it depends on what sort of a person she is. if she has high maintenance hair she may not like helmet hair and sweat.

if she's nervous, teach her how to be safe and what to look out for. ride to somewhere where she wants, at her pace and take it from there. even if it is a coffee shop or nursery

marinmomma
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Re: Tips on getting wifey to start riding.

Postby marinmomma » Mon Nov 24, 2014 4:23 pm

zebee wrote:
GasCyclist wrote:Hey everyone,

Wanting to try and get my wife to start cycling. She isn't keen on the idea but i'm sure once she goes for a few rides she will love it.


Why are you sure? Because you do?

I suggest you find out what she doesn't like about it. Does she think it will be uncomfortable? Does she think you will want to ride fast? Does she think it is unsafe sharing the road with cars? Does she think it is something only fit people will do?

Why are you sure you know what she wants and likes better than she does?



Zebee, well said and it's a valid consideration.
To the OP, good luck! Sounds like you've got a bit of a job ahead of you :wink:
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Re: Tips on getting wifey to start riding.

Postby moosterbounce » Tue Nov 25, 2014 12:02 am

Many people start riding when on holiday and realise that it is possible so stick with it. A friend of mine hated bikes, but when visiting Rottnest - a car free island - the only transport was walking or hiring a bike. After a few days of island life, she was converted and now regularly enjoys riding her fixie around the river. Another bike friendly island is Lord Howe over the other side of the country. Bike hire was pretty important when I was there.

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ElizabethA04
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Re: Tips on getting wifey to start riding.

Postby ElizabethA04 » Tue Nov 25, 2014 6:01 am

I took up cyucling 6 months ago, now wish my hubby would also ride so I have someone to go cycling with.

Why don't you see if you wife wants to join a supportive female cycling group (Breeze Women is where I got all my confidence from) and then she may cycle with you once she does build up her skill. Small steps, but it may work.

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CKinnard
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Re: Tips on getting wifey to start riding.

Postby CKinnard » Tue Nov 25, 2014 7:19 am

why not forego a few rides every week to do what your wife prefers. you might find you enjoy it. :)

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outnabike
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Re: Tips on getting wifey to start riding.

Postby outnabike » Tue Nov 25, 2014 7:48 am

Hi GasCyclist,
All of the above with my wife as regards motor cars etc.
With my wife it was a big deal to use the 10 speed gears. We restarted off on a couple of Huffy's, one from K mart and one handed down from our daughter.

If you want to put some one off cycling do that, get a Huffy. Absolutely the worst bikes on the planet for a new chum, and the trouble with the gearing almost stopped us.
But I digress with the pleasures of riding the Huffy, that was a saga in its own right..... :)

The thing is I selected an 8 speed internal hub for her; Nexus. A $1000-00 effort for her after a trip to the Melbourne bike show, and a trip to Velo bikes up the road.This thing saved the day with easy starts in being able to change with out swapping cogs, and has only ever failed after the guys at Velo Cycles thought it a great idea to adjust the cables on the first service. But didn't have a clue as to what they were doing; I fixed it in about two minutes.

This bike is light with an ally frame, has a built in dynamo with full lighting and is a nice looking affair. Fortunately they had a nice lady sales assistant as well and she knew what interested another lady cyclist.
I suggest go for a cut out seat from day one as then you will only have five trips back for a replacement as the factory supplied are often what they think is good, and is usually not. :)
My wife was quick to run from pontificating LBS sales men with their forthright views and I resisted some strong pushes in Dandenong to go for a three speed in a cheaper Chinese outfit. ( lets just say different Huffy"s)
Strangely that LBS is gone now.....
But I know nothing and this was just my experience......
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WyvernRH
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Re: Tips on getting wifey to start riding.

Postby WyvernRH » Wed Nov 26, 2014 10:17 pm

Buy a tandem, preferably a decent one. Means she doesn't get left behind, gets to talk while riding and (normally) has less road fear as you are doing the steering and braking. Just take it easy to start with.
Richard

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Thoglette
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Re: Tips on getting wifey to start riding.

Postby Thoglette » Wed Nov 26, 2014 10:53 pm

WyvernRH wrote: Just take it easy to start with.

As Sheldon says- the number one rule of Tandem riding is: "Don't scare the stoker"
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Re: Tips on getting wifey to start riding.

Postby bychosis » Thu Nov 27, 2014 6:41 am

You should take her on a group ride. then at the first chance drop her like a stone to encourage her by showing how fast you can ride and how awesome group rides are. :?
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Re: Tips on getting wifey to start riding.

Postby tcdev » Thu Nov 27, 2014 3:57 pm

Wow, I was a bit taken aback by Zebee's response, as it's clear you were as well. One would hope that you do have a pretty good idea about what your SO would and would not like; I know I do.

My wife has a morbid fear that she'll turn into The Incredible Hulk the moment she starts any exercise that will potentially build some muscle, particularly her legs. As you can imagine, any mention of her cycling is met with instant dismissal. Not that it's the time and place for a serious discussion along these lines; I'm only 5 months into riding and she's 7 months pregnant now! And it's not that she's in any way averse to exercise, she used to run (and try to drag me along, sometimes successfully) and we'd do long hikes all the time.

Anyway, my plan is to take our 2-year-old riding to give her some 'alone' time after #2 arrives. And when #2 is up to it, I'll suggest she get a bike too and we ride together as a family. Despite Zebee's skepticism, I do know that my wife will enjoy it once she gets into it. Obviously with a couple of ankle-biters it will all be bike tracks so the traffic won't be a concern.

So GasCyclist, is having a baby an option, so you can follow my tact? :wink:
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OldBloke
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Re: Tips on getting wifey to start riding.

Postby OldBloke » Thu Nov 27, 2014 5:58 pm

GasCyclist, does your local cycling organisation have anything like Gear Up Girl (http://www.gearupgirl.com.au/) in NSW that might be helpful.

OB

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AKO
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Re: Tips on getting wifey to start riding.

Postby AKO » Thu Nov 27, 2014 11:33 pm

Carefull what you wish for. My wife was doing cross fit type activities until her hips and back started giving her greif. I encouraged her to try cycling with me on our days off while the kids were at school. She was reluctant at first but we did a couple of rides with her on her mountain bike. Next thing I know, we drop $1500 on a new road bike, she's buying knicks and jerseys etc.

"Oooh that Garmin thing of yours looks good, I should get one too? The team edition will match my bike".

"Hey honey, do you mind looking after the kids while I go for a ride with the girls"? Lol

It's all good though. My advise is lead her in gradually. You'll soon see how into it she is and can ramp it up accordingly.
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clackers
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Re: Tips on getting wifey to start riding.

Postby clackers » Fri Nov 28, 2014 10:56 am

Try some combos of short distance, food/drink, event, friends/family involvement, GasCyclist.

The opposite of a three hour gym session! :-)

zebee
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Re: Tips on getting wifey to start riding.

Postby zebee » Fri Nov 28, 2014 1:47 pm

tcdev wrote:Wow, I was a bit taken aback by Zebee's response, as it's clear you were as well. One would hope that you do have a pretty good idea about what your SO would and would not like; I know I do.



My response was because I have met far too many women whose partners have assumed things about them, badgered them, guilted them, generally made them miserable. (Not all that often bicycles, but they have been involved sometimes)

Not because the guys were nasty or silly, but because they thought everyone was like them, and that obviously what they enjoyed and wanted their partner would enjoy and want. It was all about him and what he wanted and not about her and what she wanted.

Assuming you know someone else instead of asking is a recipe for trouble.

So is buying a bike for someone to use without them having any input or discussion on bikes and riding. And without the decision about what to get and how to use it being theirs completely.

First step in getting someone into riding is to be all about them. All about what they want, what they fear, what they enjoy now that cycling might tap into.

My 81yo mother rode a bicycle for the first time in 60 years last year. She saw how much I enjoyed it and decided to have a try. First job was to find a bike that she felt safe on and in control. One she could sit on and have both feet flat, that was very upright, and light. (A folding bike turned out to be perfect: very adjustable and visually small). It took a week of sitting on it and scooting about a bit and learning to brake and start and stop before she got out of the back yard and then we did very short rides on the footpath. Each time getting on the bike was her idea not mine. Raising the seat gradually was her idea (once we discussed comfort and why her knees felt the way they did).

She's quite capable of doing 30 minute rides now and likes them, but without the very slow start and the focus on her feeling comfortable and safe it never would have got that far.

Importantly though... it never would have started if I had pressured her or assumed it. She wanted to try because I was having fun and that was obvious.

And would never have continued without her feeling safe and that the speed she was going at - physical and mental - was right for her.

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Re: Tips on getting wifey to start riding.

Postby HappyHumber » Fri Nov 28, 2014 2:09 pm

zebee wrote:My response was because I have met far too many women whose partners have assumed things about them, badgered them, guilted them, generally made them miserable. (Not all that often bicycles, but they have been involved sometimes)

Not because the guys were nasty or silly, but because they thought everyone was like them, and that obviously what they enjoyed and wanted their partner would enjoy and want. It was all about him and what he wanted and not about her and what she wanted.

Assuming you know someone else instead of asking is a recipe for trouble.


I saw where Zebs was coming from.

It's not just true in marriages, but in social relationship and friendships as well. It sh!ts me when people have spent money on something and then feel the need to ram it down my neck as if I'd be daft not to spend the money as well. It's because they've justified the money on Gadget X to themselves, they now feel the need to justify it to me.

I enjoy things for my own reasons not other peoples.

Being a perenially single guy, I'm hardly one to comment on the quality of other peoples relationships but try to look at the issue from ther other persons perspective; as much you want to share your enjoyment your SO is still another person with their own concerns and trepidations. The trick would be address these with tact and subtlety... and yes, ask what if anything they'd like to share with you.
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Re: Tips on getting wifey to start riding.

Postby Dr_Mutley » Fri Nov 28, 2014 3:34 pm

Tips on how NOT to get your wife to like cycling....

1) stick her on a crap heavy bike with gears that don't change well and ride off into the sunset

2) stick her on a bike too big for her

3) stick her in a bike that isn't fitted to her by a decent/reputable fitter...,

For non-cyclists, riding is usually hard, uncomfortable, and hence unenjoyable... So if u address the issues to make cycling less hard, and more comfortable, u will have much greater success!

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