3 Effective Ways to Disagree
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3 Effective Ways to Disagree
Postby AUbicycles » Wed Aug 07, 2013 10:38 am
Chris Lema writes a software / business help blog and does a really good job at discussing positive participation - understanding that if you flip-out, people get upset and you end up looking bad. I am sharing this as it is particularly relevant and encourage you to read the entire store in the Chris Lema Blog.
Learning to Disagree without being Disagreeable
The next time you think about posting a comment on a blog, discussing things with your friends, or debating with someone you don’t know, here are three effective ways to disagree without being disagreeable.
1. Listen closely and stay on topic
It’s easy, when debating, to leave the topic and create a new topic as you go along. This is because staying on topic is difficult. It’s easier to randomly pick another angle to “shoot” from. Resist and pay close attention so that you’re adding to a discussion that someone might read over later and really appreciate.
2. Don’t repeat, and don’t go personal
Whatever you do, focus on the issue at hand, rather than attacking the person who you disagree with. Disagreements end, but if you’ve attacked a person, it’s likely the animosity between you two won’t.
Additionally, unless the person you’re disagreeing with has really short-term memory (like Memento), repeating yourself doesn’t help you. It just makes you look like someone who wasn’t listening.
3. Find and emphasize the places where you agree
No one wants to interact with someone who is not only a broken record but also unable to find things to agree on. It’s easy to be at odds with someone. It’s harder but more worth it when you can start by finding the points you do agree with and emphasize those. Then it’s only a few points of disagreement in a sea of agreement.
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Re: 3 Effective Ways to Disagree
Postby The 2nd Womble » Wed Aug 07, 2013 11:09 am
Huge fan of booted RGers who just can't help themselves
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Re: 3 Effective Ways to Disagree
Postby Mulger bill » Wed Aug 07, 2013 11:16 am
London Boy 29/12/2011
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Re: 3 Effective Ways to Disagree
Postby hannos » Wed Aug 07, 2013 11:20 am
I assume you mean your own post, else you would have said you find "the above post" disgusting?The 2nd Womble wrote:I find this post disgusting and offensive.
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Re: 3 Effective Ways to Disagree
Postby The 2nd Womble » Wed Aug 07, 2013 11:25 am
Huge fan of booted RGers who just can't help themselves
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Re: 3 Effective Ways to Disagree
Postby hannos » Wed Aug 07, 2013 12:00 pm
Is that rhetoric or do I need to respond?The 2nd Womble wrote:I'm full of loathing and self hatred.
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Re: 3 Effective Ways to Disagree
Postby The 2nd Womble » Wed Aug 07, 2013 12:12 pm
I'd rather you didn't. You know how vile I can be outside of the forum.hannos wrote:Is that rhetoric or do I need to respond?The 2nd Womble wrote:I'm full of loathing and self hatred.
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Re: 3 Effective Ways to Disagree
Postby hannos » Wed Aug 07, 2013 12:17 pm
I also know how charming you can be!The 2nd Womble wrote:I'd rather you didn't. You know how vile I can be outside of the forum.hannos wrote:Is that rhetoric or do I need to respond?The 2nd Womble wrote:I'm full of loathing and self hatred.
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Re: 3 Effective Ways to Disagree
Postby DoogleDave » Wed Aug 07, 2013 12:20 pm
I think it can sometimes be all too easy to type and hit the submit button before cooling down after reading somebody's strong reply and re-reading what you have typed prior to responding.
We are all here to share and learn from one another and unfortunately there will be those few that believe they are always correct and decide that their "written wrath" has merit and weight (because they know better).
Before long, this can snowball into a thread that is so far off-topic it becomes more about proving who is right or wrong and not about the discussion point at hand.
I think overall this is quite a pleasant forum to participate in and just like anything, the small minority can sometimes over-run the majority on occasion....but reminders like this will hopefully help!
The good job the mods do (mostly going un-noticed by the masses), should also be applauded and is key to the success of any forum.
Dave
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Re: 3 Effective Ways to Disagree
Postby AUbicycles » Wed Aug 07, 2013 2:01 pm
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Re: 3 Effective Ways to Disagree
Postby Nobody » Wed Aug 07, 2013 2:37 pm
Is this where most disagreements happen?
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Re: 3 Effective Ways to Disagree
Postby The 2nd Womble » Wed Aug 07, 2013 3:16 pm
Huge fan of booted RGers who just can't help themselves
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Re: 3 Effective Ways to Disagree
Postby bychosis » Wed Aug 07, 2013 3:19 pm
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Re: 3 Effective Ways to Disagree
Postby MichaelB » Wed Aug 07, 2013 3:24 pm
Don't mention Hitler !!!
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Re: 3 Effective Ways to Disagree
Postby Nobody » Wed Aug 07, 2013 3:25 pm
Well, Christopher could have put this in "Info / announcements" like most other comments like this. But maybe he thought that the main problems are here, so he placed it here to make sure it's more likely to be seen by the "usual offenders".The 2nd Womble wrote:What are you implying?!
In the end, I'm just asking a question, but I assume you're inferring what I'm implying.
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Re: 3 Effective Ways to Disagree
Postby Nobody » Wed Aug 07, 2013 3:27 pm
Too late now then.MichaelB wrote:You forgot the 4th rule.
Don't mention Hitler !!!
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Re: 3 Effective Ways to Disagree
Postby The 2nd Womble » Wed Aug 07, 2013 3:30 pm
Troll!Nobody wrote:Well, Christopher could have put this in "Info / announcements" like most other comments like this. But maybe he thought that the main problems are here, so he placed it here to make sure it's more likely to be seen by the "usual offenders".The 2nd Womble wrote:What are you implying?!
In the end, I'm just asking a question, but I assume you're inferring what I'm implying.
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Re: 3 Effective Ways to Disagree
Postby gururug » Wed Aug 07, 2013 4:03 pm
Seriously tho, great guidance AU!
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Re: 3 Effective Ways to Disagree
Postby jules21 » Wed Aug 07, 2013 4:27 pm
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Re: 3 Effective Ways to Disagree
Postby Leiothrix » Wed Aug 07, 2013 4:40 pm
I'll agree with that!Marto wrote:
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Re: 3 Effective Ways to Disagree
Postby The 2nd Womble » Wed Aug 07, 2013 4:42 pm
You're entitled to your delusion.jules21 wrote:i'm amazed at how some people can take offense at me for simply having a different opinion to them, especially when i'm right and they're wrong.
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Re: 3 Effective Ways to Disagree
Postby jules21 » Wed Aug 07, 2013 4:49 pm
no really, i'm always rightThe 2nd Womble wrote:You're entitled to your delusion.jules21 wrote:i'm amazed at how some people can take offense at me for simply having a different opinion to them, especially when i'm right and they're wrong.
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Re: 3 Effective Ways to Disagree
Postby Xplora » Wed Aug 07, 2013 5:05 pm
Invoking Godwin's Law is worse than transgressing itMichaelB wrote:You forgot the 4th rule.
Don't mention Hitler !!!
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Re: 3 Effective Ways to Disagree
Postby Mulger bill » Wed Aug 07, 2013 5:33 pm
jules21 wrote:no really, i'm always rightThe 2nd Womble wrote:You're entitled to your delusion.jules21 wrote:i'm amazed at how some people can take offense at me for simply having a different opinion to them, especially when i'm right and they're wrong.
No you're not. F7 on offence
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