(that video's quite crummy but I only wanted it for the title anyway)
So yesterday I decided to go for a long ride......
Off went the alarm at 3:00 am, I had my usual weetbix with honey and 2 slices of toast with peanut butter, got myself ready and was out the door around 3:45. After the delightful experience of losing all my spare parts and tools in a mountain bike race a few years ago I have avoided using saddlebags but one can only fit so much stuff in jersey pockets, and even my habit of stuffing things up the legs of my knicks like a chipmunk stuffs food into it's cheek pouches wouldn't do. I kept all the important stuff like tools, phone and spare tubes in my pockets and just used the saddlebag for storing extra muesli bars.
The first section of the ride was from Coolum down the coast to Caloundra, then across to Landsborough and down the Steve Irwin Way to Caboolture. This was pretty much uneventful (as you might reasonably expect at that time!) with the exception of a few cars and trucks who passed at an unsafe distance, not shaves by any means but certainly closer than they should have been. This would be easy enough to solve if the road only had a shoulder. I simply cannot understand why, when there is a 1.5m gap of perfectly level compacted gravel between the edge of the road and the white posts, they can't just slap down a bit of bitumen so i don't have to spend so many kilometres running my nerves ragged taking the lane so i don't end up as roadkill. To quote the Chewbacca Defense "That does not make sense!"
Upon reaching Caboolture I got a little lost (easy enough to do, one bullet riddled abandoned street looks much the same as any other) but eventually managed to take a nature break and refill my water bottles before continuing south. Looking at Google Maps the night before the route from Caboolture to Samford looked as simple as shooting fish in a barrel, but the reality was rather different, and after spending 20 minutes attempting to get directions from my wife via text I ended up pointing my nose in a south-ish direction and hoping for the best. It worked well enough as I soon found myself part of heavy traffic on Old North Rd (by "part of" I mean I was going almost the same speed as the rest of the traffic, sitting in the mid 40s and frequently up into the 50s
).
Just as I was starting to worry that I wasn't going the right way after all a sign appeared directing me to take Eatons Crossing Rd to Samford, which turned out to be very hilly and tough going, especially as the headwind that had started around Caboolture was growing stronger. It didn't take too long to reach Samford where I stopped at a small café for smoko.
Then it was time to tackle Mt Glorious, but the moderate headwind had gone crazy and had me down to as little as 12kmh on the flat at times :O (by the top of the mountain it was so strong that I was watching small branches coming off trees, though I was going so slowly I could have been watching grass grow too
). The effort required to deal with that immediately after a feed gave me a stitch that didn't ease until I was over the other side, so combined with the 140kms I already had in my legs, the steep parts of the climb had me off the bike and walking a lot.
Eventually I reached the top and being low on water I decided to stop at the well known Maiala Teahouse to get some cold water/coke, but they don't have EFTPOS! In 2013 for heaven's sake! Luckily there was a park a little further on where I was able to locate a tap.
The descent on Northbrook Parkway was almost as slow as the climb, extremely steep, gusty winds and some corners so sharp that 30kmh was flat out meant I had to stop 3 times to let my brakes (and hands) rest. Once onto the flat I was able to enjoy myself a bit more though, especially watching the cows on the side of the road and a large goanna on one causeway.
Once I got to Wivenhoe-Somerset Rd and turned north things really got going again, with the wind at a more favourable angle I was able to get up into the 50s on a few flat sections and strap along quite nicely. I had to laugh when somewhere around Bryden, a non descript district in the middle of nowhere, not one but two magpies swooped me within a few kilometres! The village of Somerset Dam is a very pretty place and I had no hesitation in stopping under a big shady tree there to refill my water bottles and have a snack (All Natural Bakery yoghurt apricot and almond oat slice, absolutely delicious!)
From there to Kilcoy was reasonably straightforward, a couple of short but difficult climbs near Somerset contrasted with the flatter sections to the north where I was able to get into the high 30s and 40s once more.
After another feed in Kilcoy (at the BP servo, my preferred refuelling spot whenever i'm out there) I set off around 3:15pm for the final leg. The run to Caboolture went exceptionally well, it was an amazing feeling to be nearing Caboolture with more than 270kms on the clock and the speedo sitting on 40+kmh with no great effort
.
The run up through Elimbah went very well too but by Beerburrum my body was sending me some clear messages that it would rather prefer to not keep doing this for too much longer please.
And then I got hit by a car.
Approaching roadworks at the southern Landsborough intersection a car turned left straight across me, i was hit by the rear view mirror before bouncing off the B pillar, then making my way around the back of the car screaming obscenities i shot up the other side punching the car several times until i drew level with the driver and roared "Pull over NOW!" in his face. He did so straight away, and when my very loud demand of "What the expletive is wrong with you, you could have expletive killed me" was met with a genuine "jesus i'm so sorry" the switch instantly flicked back to normal and i calmed down.
The driver and several of the roadworkers then led me over to the side of the road to recover as the shock had me shaking like a leaf, but within a few minutes i was fine and after giving my details to a traffic controller for the incident report i was on my way again and shortly reached the northern end of the road where Stef picked me up (as getting all the way back to Coolum by bike would have been possible, but not in a reasonable time period to allow for sleep afterwards).
So in total, more than 14.5 hours from start to finish, 3,774 metres of climbing and 315.6kms. To my absolute astonishment i woke up this morning feeling perfectly fine (if a little tender) and haven't had the slightest hint of any cramping. Even so i felt it best to get a massage this afternoon after work and it was a tremendously enjoyable experience
.
Speaking of tremendously enjoyable experiences, that's exactly what i got when i went on to Strava and found that the wannabe racer was Number 3 for THE WHOLE WORLD on the bucket list challenge! Sadly the rest of the world has now woken up and got on their bikes so i am down to 44th but it was cool while it lasted
.
. I eventually reached the top absolutely shattered, I may have done a better time if I had been more consistent but job done in any case 
riders it was a fantastic feeling rolling through Tewantin. I was keen to get plenty of photos so spent the first 10k sprinting ahead of the bunch, stopping to take photos, then hopping back on for some more sprinting. 
.
) I went full tilt at Low's Lookout.
. I tried to have a crack at another segment on the way back but I hadn't had enough time to recover from the lookout effort and faded well before the finish line.
I had one do it to me many years ago and I T-boned him, 
