Fairy tales do come true...
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Fairy tales do come true...
Postby CoffsGal » Fri Feb 12, 2010 6:03 pm
Princess Lycra was riding her enchanted bicycle through her kingdom in the early morning light as she oft did, with her magic AyUps spreading goodness and light on all before her, when all of a sudden, out of nowhere, appeared the evil newspaper delivery man (ENDM), swerving across the yellow brick road from this side to that side, dispatching his logs of tabloid diatribe into the gardens of the poor simple villagers.
Even though the ENDM saw the beautiful Princess Lycra heading towards him, he guided his carriage of evil directly across her path to satisfy his dastardly desires of newspaper ejection. At this wickedness, Princess Lycra was shaken but not stirred, and after applying her faithfull Ultegra brakes she avoided the carriage of evil. Princess Lycra, not being a candy arse, then cast a potent spell upon the ENDM as he passed by. The ENDM, upon hearing the Princess's spell, responded with an antispell of "can't you see I'm delivering papers". Of course this antispell was impotent against the enchanted Princess, who then cast another spell to turn him into a toad, of which he was already largely one.
The Princess continued on her way, but a quick glance behind revealed the ENDM performing a U turn, and again, not being a candy arse, the Princess also turned her enchanted bicycle to face whatever confrontation might be awaiting her. With her magic potions at the ready the all powerful Princess and the ENDM faced each other from 50 metres like knights about to joust. The tension rose as the combatants approached each other, and with the ENDM guiding his carriage of evil towards her with its dragon eyes ablaze, Princess Lyrca was wishing she was wearing her enchanted body armour.
As both the moment of truth and the carriage of evil arrived, the Princess quickly cast a silent spell of apology on the toady ENDM. Of course the ENDM was completely overwhelmed by the spell and slowed and pulled up adjacent to the Princess. Now fully under the control of the Princess's spell, the ENDM apologised for getting in the way of such a wondrous and magical being. The Princess, being benevolent and compassionate, as well as clever and gorgeous, (and modest), accepted the ENDM's apology while also providing some spiritual guidance on the respecting of cyclists.
The Princess and the now 'not so toady ENDM' parted on good terms with the ENDM now understanding the correct protocols of road sharing. This was an unusual but pleasing outcome for the Princess who had grown weary of the evilness she often encountered. The Princess was much relieved that the incident had ended so well, and without the unpalatable emotional aftertaste that sometimes follows one for the rest of one's journey.
Princess Lycra continued on her enchanted journey through her magical kingdom, accompanied only by the whizzing sound of her tyres upon the road of cycling satisfaction, and eventually covered 114km non stop without any further clashes with the forces of evil.
The End
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Re: Fairy tales do come true...
Postby Patdys » Fri Feb 12, 2010 6:16 pm
Bit more magic,
Yesterday when I was riding, I turned into a sidestreet.
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- CoffsGal
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Re: Fairy tales do come true...
Postby CoffsGal » Fri Feb 12, 2010 6:21 pm
Hehehe...good one...Patdys wrote:Nice.
Bit more magic,
Yesterday when I was riding, I turned into a sidestreet.
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Re: Fairy tales do come true...
Postby Pushy » Fri Feb 12, 2010 6:58 pm
and changed your route?Patdys wrote:Nice.
Bit more magic,
Yesterday when I was riding, I turned into a sidestreet.
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Re: Fairy tales do come true...
Postby greyhoundtom » Fri Feb 12, 2010 8:09 pm
Brilliant story and good on you for sorting him out!CoffsGal wrote:Once upon a time in a magical land...
snip]
Princess Lycra continued on her enchanted way through her magical kingdom, accompanied only by the whizzing sound of her tyres on the road of cycling satisfaction, and eventually covered 114km non stop without further clashes with the forces of evil.
The End
I love it
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Re: Fairy tales do come true...
Postby open roader » Fri Feb 12, 2010 8:16 pm
may the Princess ride happily ever after...........
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Re: Fairy tales do come true...
Postby AverageSpeed » Fri Feb 12, 2010 8:36 pm
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Re: Fairy tales do come true...
Postby ruscook » Fri Feb 12, 2010 9:31 pm
Glad it turned out well for you.
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Re: Fairy tales do come true...
Postby Ross » Fri Feb 12, 2010 9:42 pm
All's well that ends well.
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Re: Fairy tales do come true...
Postby Kalgrm » Fri Feb 12, 2010 10:06 pm
Fare thee well true maiden,
Squire Graeme
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Music was better when ugly people were allowed to make it ....
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Re: Fairy tales do come true...
Postby drubie » Fri Feb 12, 2010 11:10 pm
(but hey, nice moral to the story, wish I could be that forgiving of the road using boneheads around here)
but really, that's rubbish. We get none of it because the choices are illusory.
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Re: Fairy tales do come true...
Postby giwi2 » Fri Feb 12, 2010 11:42 pm
2009 Specialized Roubaix Expert
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Re: Fairy tales do come true...
Postby CoffsGal » Fri Feb 12, 2010 11:52 pm
Yes, a fairytale life where I find a nice prince...Pinarello that is...giwi2 wrote:So the princess got a life then?????????????????
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Re: Fairy tales do come true...
Postby Redbull » Sat Feb 13, 2010 12:20 am
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Re: Fairy tales do come true...
Postby kukamunga » Sat Feb 13, 2010 10:05 am
What I don't understand is how ENDM's are allowed to pilot their 'carriages of evil' in such a dangerous and illegal manner ie. single-handedly, limb protruding from vehicle, eyes off road, erratic speed and direction changes, ejecting missiles, and usually all at the same time with out using indicators or with hazard lights flashing (which I thought were illegal to have on whilst vehicle in motion)
Do these 'dispatchers of tabloid diatribe logs' not contravene dozens of road safety laws, and if so, why aren't they cracked down on ? I know I have had close calls with them in early mornings past..... they can be an absolute hazard, especially in the darker, colder months
And aren't newspapers more efficiently delivered by bicycle ? I can't see how anyone could make money delivering 'diatribe logs' by car
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Re: Fairy tales do come true...
Postby il padrone » Sat Feb 13, 2010 6:56 pm
The only ones that are really illegal are the arm out of the vehicle and throwing an object, but only when the vehicle is moving. So if they stop at each premises then stick the arm out and throw, that'd be completely legal.kukamunga wrote:Nice tale, princess
What I don't understand is how ENDM's are allowed to pilot their 'carriages of evil' in such a dangerous and illegal manner ie. single-handedly, limb protruding from vehicle, eyes off road, erratic speed and direction changes, ejecting missiles, and usually all at the same time with out using indicators or with hazard lights flashing (which I thought were illegal to have on whilst vehicle in motion)
Do these 'dispatchers of tabloid diatribe logs' not contravene dozens of road safety laws
One-handed driving is legal. Else how do you change gear in your manual car?
Eyes off the road - impossible to enforce, we all do it at some time (like looking in your rear view mirror?)
Erratic speed and direction changes? Tell that one to your favourite taxi driver .
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Re: Fairy tales do come true...
Postby JV911 » Mon Feb 15, 2010 10:29 am
if he is anything like the toad i see of a morning:il padrone wrote:The only ones that are really illegal are the arm out of the vehicle and throwing an object, but only when the vehicle is moving. So if they stop at each premises then stick the arm out and throw, that'd be completely legal
- driving on wrong side of road
- driving dangerously
- throwing objects from moving vehicle
- failing to indicate
- etc etc ETC
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Re: Fairy tales do come true...
Postby Sweeper59 » Mon Feb 15, 2010 10:52 am
Nobody looks back on their life....and remembers the nights they got plenty of sleep !!
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Re: Fairy tales do come true...
Postby twizzle » Mon Feb 15, 2010 10:54 am
Yep - they read much better than "!! BAN ME NOW FOR SWEARING !! Doesn't Happen"Redbull wrote:ahhhh.........that explains those bumper stickers "MAGIC HAPPENS"
...real cyclists don't have squeaky chains...
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Re: Fairy tales do come true...
Postby hawksam » Mon Feb 15, 2010 1:48 pm
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Re: Fairy tales do come true...
Postby cavebear2 » Mon Feb 15, 2010 2:46 pm
So... maybe you've got a job for life now to go around converting the lost souls of ENDMs.... or you could be the pin up princess for cycling advocacy, casting spells at ENDMs, taxi drivers, bus drivers, yobs, hoons and road ragers.CoffsGal wrote:'snip' Now fully under the control of the Princess's spell, the ENDM apologised for getting in the way of such a wondrous and magical being. The Princess, being benevolent and compassionate, as well as clever and gorgeous, (and modest), accepted the ENDM's apology while also providing some spiritual guidance on the respecting of cyclists.
'snip'
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Re: Fairy tales do come true...
Postby Sweeper59 » Mon Feb 15, 2010 3:26 pm
Nobody looks back on their life....and remembers the nights they got plenty of sleep !!
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Re: Fairy tales do come true...
Postby master6 » Mon Feb 15, 2010 3:36 pm
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