it had to happen - the overbearing vicarious cycling parent
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it had to happen - the overbearing vicarious cycling parent
Postby jules21 » Mon Nov 12, 2012 11:23 am
presumably dad riding alongside his son on the Kew Boullie. dad was dressed in all-Silence Lotto gear on roadie, while son was in lycra kit and flat bar. the son looked about 16(?) and obviously not yet a lean, mean cyclist. he was sweating profusely as i passed him and overheard the old man ordering him "come on! i want more out of you!"
i cringed and rode on.
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Re: it had to happen - the overbearing vicarious cycling par
Postby g-boaf » Mon Nov 12, 2012 12:13 pm
I'm guessing the dad didn't ride for that team, did anyone ask him about wearing team kit?
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Re: it had to happen - the overbearing vicarious cycling par
Postby Sydguy » Mon Nov 12, 2012 1:54 pm
You should of told the Dad "Come on I want more out of you!" as you passed/dropped him.
JM
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Re: it had to happen - the overbearing vicarious cycling par
Postby ldrcycles » Mon Nov 12, 2012 3:49 pm
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Re: it had to happen - the overbearing vicarious cycling par
Postby Xplora » Mon Nov 12, 2012 3:53 pm
Judge not, lest ye be judged yourself... there are tons of deadbeat teens, and they aren't made into champions by bludging. My parents didn't push me, I pushed myself when I was a kid, but it was definitely something modelled to me. HTFU isn't something you are born with.
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Re: it had to happen - the overbearing vicarious cycling par
Postby jules21 » Mon Nov 12, 2012 4:01 pm
my dad pushed me with a few things as a kid and it certainly killed my enthusiasm. i grew to love cycling for the feeling of freedom it gave me. the last thing i'd have wanted was my dad riding alongside, yelling orders.
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Re: it had to happen - the overbearing vicarious cycling par
Postby greyhoundtom » Mon Nov 12, 2012 4:09 pm
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Re: it had to happen - the overbearing vicarious cycling par
Postby jules21 » Mon Nov 12, 2012 4:12 pm
who knows, but to me his voice had the distinct tone of an overbearing parent, not a paid coach.greyhoundtom wrote:A presumed father...............might have been the boys paid coach inciting a bit more effort.
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Re: it had to happen - the overbearing vicarious cycling par
Postby jules21 » Mon Nov 12, 2012 4:15 pm
i'd be more hesitant to draw judgment if i was identifying them, but as they're anonymous, it's more just a random observation.Xplora wrote:Judge not, lest ye be judged yourself...
i think i made it clear enough that there was scope for me to miscomprehend what was going on, but i know what it looked like.
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Re: it had to happen - the overbearing vicarious cycling par
Postby fitz » Mon Nov 12, 2012 4:35 pm
This.my dad pushed me with a few things as a kid and it certainly killed my enthusiasm. i grew to love cycling for the feeling of freedom it gave me. the last thing i'd have wanted was my dad riding alongside, yelling orders.
I did a one eighty on nearly everything my dad pushed me into.
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Re: it had to happen - the overbearing vicarious cycling par
Postby drubie » Mon Nov 12, 2012 5:48 pm
Having said that, 99% of the parents are incredibly supportive, it's a tiny minority that are doing the overbearing parental thing. Some of the camping/travelling setups those families have invested in are quite a sight to behold, I guess that 1% are just trying to get their moneys worth
but really, that's rubbish. We get none of it because the choices are illusory.
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Re: it had to happen - the overbearing vicarious cycling par
Postby ColinOldnCranky » Tue Nov 13, 2012 12:09 am
Totally agree Xplora. I was relieved as I scrolled down to see at least some reluctance by a few to judge the reported moment. With due respect to Jules, there will be plenty of kids who will be coaxed and cajoled out or choice and desire. I have seen it often enough of friends in my youth and since. I copped some of it myself. Sometimes parents, sometimes other supporters or coaches.
I think we are taking a big step to assess the incident too seriously.
(Remembers back to days of Ron Barrassi.)
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Re: it had to happen - the overbearing vicarious cycling par
Postby scotto » Tue Nov 13, 2012 2:21 am
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Re: it had to happen - the overbearing vicarious cycling par
Postby Alex Simmons/RST » Tue Nov 13, 2012 8:18 am
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Re: it had to happen - the overbearing vicarious cycling par
Postby wardie » Tue Nov 13, 2012 9:01 am
My Dad never actively encouraged me to do anything (apart from becoming an accountant which I didn't) so I find myself leaning the other way.
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Re: it had to happen - the overbearing vicarious cycling par
Postby jules21 » Tue Nov 13, 2012 9:46 am
if you're still doing that when he's 16, i'd be more likely to wonder if there's a problemwardie wrote:I took my 6 year old son out for a ride on the weekend and whilst I never said that I wanted more from him, I was making sure that I strongly encouraged him to 'just try and get up the hill'. I hope no one thought I was being over-zealous.
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Re: it had to happen - the overbearing vicarious cycling par
Postby wardie » Tue Nov 13, 2012 9:51 am
I hope he still talks to me when he's 16.jules21 wrote:if you're still doing that when he's 16, i'd be more likely to wonder if there's a problemwardie wrote:I took my 6 year old son out for a ride on the weekend and whilst I never said that I wanted more from him, I was making sure that I strongly encouraged him to 'just try and get up the hill'. I hope no one thought I was being over-zealous.
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Re: it had to happen - the overbearing vicarious cycling par
Postby igstar » Tue Nov 13, 2012 10:20 am
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Re: it had to happen - the overbearing vicarious cycling par
Postby munga » Tue Nov 13, 2012 2:24 pm
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Re: it had to happen - the overbearing vicarious cycling par
Postby ColinOldnCranky » Tue Nov 13, 2012 2:25 pm
Unless said 16yo is by then trying to crack into national selection or something and is himself calling for encouragement/harrassment/shouting for the extra immediate motivation. Whatever works for him.jules21 wrote:if you're still doing that when he's 16, i'd be more likely to wonder if there's a problemwardie wrote:I took my 6 year old son out for a ride on the weekend and whilst I never said that I wanted more from him, I was making sure that I strongly encouraged him to 'just try and get up the hill'. I hope no one thought I was being over-zealous.
I suspect that those who have an issue with this sort of stuff is to do with the failed wannabe athlete who lives out their own frustrated ambitions thru their kids. Regardless of my posts here you can count me into that group btw.
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Re: it had to happen - the overbearing vicarious cycling par
Postby VRE » Mon Nov 19, 2012 8:11 am
Agreed. My Dad was the opposite of the one described in the OP: he spent about 2 decades trying to convince me to get a driver's license, then gave up. I'm content to just be a cyclist, and he's seen the physical effect of it and I think is happy that I'm doing it .jules21 wrote:Xplora - i've read a few bios of champion cyclists and i'm yet to come across one in which they did anything but discover cycling themselves and use self-motivation to achieve. i think having your dad yell at you is about the surest way of ensuring a kid will grow to resent whatever endeavour they're being pushed into.
my dad pushed me with a few things as a kid and it certainly killed my enthusiasm. i grew to love cycling for the feeling of freedom it gave me. the last thing i'd have wanted was my dad riding alongside, yelling orders.
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Re: it had to happen - the overbearing vicarious cycling par
Postby Eleri » Mon Nov 19, 2012 7:00 pm
That chap has a good throw on him!Alex Simmons/RST wrote:http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mchu6 ... o1_400.gif
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