Armstrong to Launch Legal Action Against Self
- roller
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Armstrong to Launch Legal Action Against Self
Postby roller » Mon Jan 21, 2013 10:47 pm
By Todd Flandis
In breaking news this afternoon it has been revealed that Lance Armstrong has taken the unprecedented step of launching legal action against himself.
Suing for an undisclosed sum, the lawsuit filed in the U.S. District Court in Austin, lists loss of income, emotional distress and damage to reputation amongst the reasons for the lawsuit.
Lance Armstrong recently revealed on a U.S. talk-show that he had taken performance enhancing drugs during his dominating 7 year reign of the Tour De France.
Speaking candidly on the talk-show, Armstrong was at pains to stress that “that guy” who had doped to win the tour was a man he had left behind, and he was now a reformed man.
Insiders close to the disgraced cyclist say that he wants the world to know that he has changed and wants to distance himself from the past.
“Lance feels that his old self has really let him down, he’s done untold damage to his reputation, his finances, both current and future, and has hurt his family. He can think of no other way of rectifying the situation than launching this lawsuit, to try and repair the damage that has been done to Lance’s life”, said a source who spoke on condition of anonymity.
With airtight public liability insurance policies in place, the lawsuit could be worth millions to the now ex-Tour De France winner, with a clear pattern of his actions over the last 10 years clearly causing an almost catastrophic meltdown of his reputation and finances.
Reading from a prepared statement on the courthouse steps, Armstrong said “I’m launching this lawsuit because I want to set an example going forward, and on behalf of cycling fans and cancer survivors all over the world, I want to let it be known that such actions (such as those of Lance Armstrong) should not be tolerated”
“My reputation has been damaged, my finances decimated, and this has caused extreme emotional distress to my family. I believe that we will show in court that I am entitled to compensation for all this pain and suffering.”
The insurance company embroiled in the lawsuit could not be reached for comment.
http://smh.com.au/2013/01/21/armstrong- ... inst-self/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
- bigfriendlyvegan
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Re: Armstrong to Launch Legal Action Against Self
Postby bigfriendlyvegan » Mon Jan 21, 2013 11:24 pm
BTW, this scenario is full-on lawyer pr0n.
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Re: Armstrong to Launch Legal Action Against Self
Postby AUbicycles » Mon Jan 21, 2013 11:35 pm
BNA is the ONLY site with results for these search terms.
I am choosing not to comment until this is confirmed.
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Re: Armstrong to Launch Legal Action Against Self
Postby Joeblake » Mon Jan 21, 2013 11:48 pm
Joe
Funning like a cox, our Lance is.
Bertrand Russell
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Re: Armstrong to Launch Legal Action Against Self
Postby Joeblake » Mon Jan 21, 2013 11:56 pm
When asked what was the violence that caused the order, Lance would not comment, saying only "Ask him, HE knows!!!"
"Well," said Armstrong, "this is going to make any reconciliation difficult, though not impossible. The relationship has not broken down irretrievably but it's on the very edge."
Following the serving of the restraining order, Lance Armstrong has gone into hiding, and he doesn't know where his head is at.
Joe
Bertrand Russell
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Re: Armstrong to Launch Legal Action Against Self
Postby RonK » Tue Jan 22, 2013 7:24 am
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Re: Armstrong to Launch Legal Action Against Self
Postby jindydiver » Tue Jan 22, 2013 8:29 am
It is obviously satire, not meant to be seriousAUbicycles wrote:Where was this story pulled from? The SMH link doesn't work nor can I search and find any articles via google.
BNA is the ONLY site with results for these search terms.
I am choosing not to comment until this is confirmed.
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Re: Armstrong to Launch Legal Action Against Self
Postby gorilla monsoon » Tue Jan 22, 2013 8:33 am
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Re: Armstrong to Launch Legal Action Against Self
Postby Ozkaban » Tue Jan 22, 2013 8:59 am
Nope.gorilla monsoon wrote:Too soon?
I'm just glad he had the ball to confess at last.
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Re: Armstrong to Launch Legal Action Against Self
Postby macca33 » Tue Jan 22, 2013 11:47 am
Whilst I was not expecting him to break down in tears during the interview - possibly a first for an Oprah 'interrogation' - his demeanour was far from remorseful and as it now stands (according to allegations from those involved with him during that period), he well and truly held back on the truth - in relation to a number of matters.
Let the fun / piss-taking begin, I say.
cheers
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Re: Armstrong to Launch Legal Action Against Self
Postby AUbicycles » Tue Jan 22, 2013 11:50 am
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Re: Armstrong to Launch Legal Action Against Self
Postby Joeblake » Tue Jan 22, 2013 12:07 pm
Directed by Peter Jackson
Gollum: We wants it, we must haves it, we WILL haves it, the Yellow Precioussssss. It is ours. We will do ANYTHING to gets it.
Smeagol: No, we can't do that. It's not nice, people won't likes us if we drinks the magic potions.
Gollum: Never mind what other peoples thinkses. Anyway, they ALL drinks the magic potion, so we can do it too, otherwise we will go down into histories and never be remembered. Our Precioussss is what we wants,
Smeagol: But these other peoples are our friends, we will be hurting them.
Gollum: We don't have friends. We don't NEED friends, as long as we have the Golden Precioussssss. Ours, it will be ours forever, the Magnificent Seven of them.
Smeagol: I'm not listening. No, we shouldn't do this. No, it is a bad thing.
Gollum: Quiet you weak little rat. Go away, and never come back ... hello? Aah, at last it is ours, the Golden Preciousssssss. They will NEVER take it from us, never.
Bertrand Russell
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Re: Armstrong to Launch Legal Action Against Self
Postby ball bearing » Tue Jan 22, 2013 12:16 pm
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Re: Armstrong to Launch Legal Action Against Self
Postby ldrcycles » Tue Jan 22, 2013 1:02 pm
Joeblake wrote:Le Tour de Mordor,
Directed by Peter Jackson
Gollum: We wants it, we must haves it, we WILL haves it, the Yellow Precioussssss. It is ours. We will do ANYTHING to gets it.
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Re: Armstrong to Launch Legal Action Against Self
Postby bigfriendlyvegan » Tue Jan 22, 2013 1:57 pm
He'll be remembered, all right: Lance Armstrong, Governor of Texas, Cancer Survivor, Reformed drug cheat.otherwise we will go down into histories and never be remembered
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Re: Armstrong to Launch Legal Action Against Self
Postby AUbicycles » Tue Jan 22, 2013 11:29 pm
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Re: Armstrong to Launch Legal Action Against Self
Postby sogood » Tue Jan 22, 2013 11:48 pm
You might just be right in that state, especially if he also supports the gun lobby. Scary!bigfriendlyvegan wrote:He'll be remembered, all right: Lance Armstrong, Governor of Texas, Cancer Survivor, Reformed drug cheat.
RK wrote:And that is Wikipedia - I can write my own definition.
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Re: Armstrong to Launch Legal Action Against Self
Postby Ozkaban » Wed Jan 23, 2013 9:17 am
I do actually wonder if that's in his future... Being a liar and a cheat isn't exactly a handicap in that profession and for someone with such strong self belief and a massive ego to massage it stands out as a career choice...sogood wrote:You might just be right in that state, especially if he also supports the gun lobby. Scary!bigfriendlyvegan wrote:He'll be remembered, all right: Lance Armstrong, Governor of Texas, Cancer Survivor, Reformed drug cheat.
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Re: Armstrong to Launch Legal Action Against Self
Postby Chuck » Wed Jan 23, 2013 12:56 pm
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Re: Armstrong to Launch Legal Action Against Self
Postby Ozkaban » Wed Jan 23, 2013 1:13 pm
Very silly, yet somehow very amusingChuck wrote:
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Re: Armstrong to Launch Legal Action Against Self
Postby Joeblake » Wed Jan 23, 2013 1:32 pm
Shame Armstrong, Shame.
Written and posted on behalf of all the discarded racing bicycles of the world - the forgotten victims of Le Tour de Infamy.
Joe
Bertrand Russell
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Re: Armstrong to Launch Legal Action Against Self
Postby JohnJoyner » Wed Jan 23, 2013 2:12 pm
Crack up. I love it & no way is it too soon.roller wrote:Armstrong to launch legal action against self.
By Todd Flandis
In breaking news this afternoon it has been revealed that Lance Armstrong has taken the unprecedented step of launching legal action against himself.
Suing for an undisclosed sum, the lawsuit filed in the U.S. District Court in Austin, lists loss of income, emotional distress and damage to reputation amongst the reasons for the lawsuit.
Lance Armstrong recently revealed on a U.S. talk-show that he had taken performance enhancing drugs during his dominating 7 year reign of the Tour De France.
Speaking candidly on the talk-show, Armstrong was at pains to stress that “that guy” who had doped to win the tour was a man he had left behind, and he was now a reformed man.
Insiders close to the disgraced cyclist say that he wants the world to know that he has changed and wants to distance himself from the past.
“Lance feels that his old self has really let him down, he’s done untold damage to his reputation, his finances, both current and future, and has hurt his family. He can think of no other way of rectifying the situation than launching this lawsuit, to try and repair the damage that has been done to Lance’s life”, said a source who spoke on condition of anonymity.
With airtight public liability insurance policies in place, the lawsuit could be worth millions to the now ex-Tour De France winner, with a clear pattern of his actions over the last 10 years clearly causing an almost catastrophic meltdown of his reputation and finances.
Reading from a prepared statement on the courthouse steps, Armstrong said “I’m launching this lawsuit because I want to set an example going forward, and on behalf of cycling fans and cancer survivors all over the world, I want to let it be known that such actions (such as those of Lance Armstrong) should not be tolerated”
“My reputation has been damaged, my finances decimated, and this has caused extreme emotional distress to my family. I believe that we will show in court that I am entitled to compensation for all this pain and suffering.”
The insurance company embroiled in the lawsuit could not be reached for comment.
http://smh.com.au/2013/01/21/armstrong- ... inst-self/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
I, for one, would forgive him all his transgressions, if he did in fact launch a lawsuit against himself.
Other than that, the confession was useless. We already knew all he said. I am waiting for a proper confession under oath...
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