Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh

open topic, for anything cycling related.

Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh

Postby ft_critical » Fri Apr 26, 2013 9:51 pm

So my wife hates cycling. I feel sometimes there is deliberate spite in her attempts to deny my attempts to ride even though I have stripped every pleasure from my life except cycling. I do anything to cycle. E.g., I start out at 0400, ride 100, do chores, go out to diner with her until 10pm (seriously I am delirious by that time.) etc

Most years I negotiate a month in advance.

This year, I laid out the principals and the programme.

Here is what I found out she hates… I phrase this in terms of my actions:
• If I say I will be home by 0930 I will never be late,
• I will not mean being home at 0930 plus hanging around in smelly cycling kit, uploading my data, eating toast, and generally loafing about. The secret is, get uncycling ASAP. Then stay uncycling all day.
• Don’t give away that you are thinking of cycling the night before. So I will not prepare my cycling kit, breakfast, etc the night before. There will be no signs of cycling in the house before or after cycling. Sorry that is gold.

My intransient routine, will have more flex. Some mornings at 0800 I will be in the house relaxed wearing pyjamas, talking about what we do for the rest of the day. Gold: but I can cycle in the afternoon.
In essence, there must be no outward sign of the obsession.
User avatar
ft_critical
 
Posts: 1530
Joined: Thu Jan 14, 2010 1:06 pm
Location: watching the 11

by BNA » Fri Apr 26, 2013 9:58 pm

BNA
 

Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh

Postby Farmer Elvis » Fri Apr 26, 2013 9:58 pm

She doesn't want to take cycling up then!
Farmer Elvis
 
Posts: 178
Joined: Tue Feb 21, 2012 6:45 pm
Location: Nort West N.SW.

Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh

Postby Dr_Mutley » Fri Apr 26, 2013 10:00 pm

Trade her in on a newer, less demanding model...
Image
Dr_Mutley
 
Posts: 2188
Joined: Fri Jan 11, 2008 1:28 pm
Location: Flagstaff Hill, Adelaide SA 5159

Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh

Postby ft_critical » Fri Apr 26, 2013 10:04 pm

Now seriously, I would be quite disappointed to find out that I am the only person here married to uncycling wife.
User avatar
ft_critical
 
Posts: 1530
Joined: Thu Jan 14, 2010 1:06 pm
Location: watching the 11

Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh

Postby warthog1 » Fri Apr 26, 2013 10:08 pm

Just wait til you have been together a few more years and she will be glad to be rid of you while you are cycling, Works for me :|
User avatar
warthog1
 
Posts: 2837
Joined: Wed Jul 25, 2012 4:40 pm

Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh

Postby Mulger bill » Fri Apr 26, 2013 10:15 pm

warthog1 wrote:Just wait til you have been together a few more years and she will be glad to be rid of you while you are cycling, Works for me :|

QFT!
...whatever the road rules, self-preservation is the absolute priority for a cyclist when mixing it with motorised traffic.
London Boy 29/12/2011
User avatar
Mulger bill
Super Mod
Super Mod
 
Posts: 25798
Joined: Sun Sep 24, 2006 2:41 pm
Location: Sunbury Vic

Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh

Postby Percrime » Fri Apr 26, 2013 10:18 pm

She must be seriously hot. I would have traded her in on a 1986 Camry... and paid some cash as well.
Percrime
 
Posts: 974
Joined: Thu Jan 29, 2009 8:41 am

Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh

Postby winstonw » Fri Apr 26, 2013 10:43 pm

warthog1 wrote:Just wait til you have been together a few more years and she will be glad to be rid of you while you are cycling, Works for me :|


wait until you retire....and she'll be pleading with you to bugger off out of the house, 4 hours minimum.
2 mths cycling France? no problem.
User avatar
winstonw
 
Posts: 1793
Joined: Sun Apr 10, 2011 7:18 pm
Location: Brisbane

Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh

Postby Panz05 » Fri Apr 26, 2013 10:58 pm

I have been with mine for 18 years and she has hated every hobby I have taken up. (I have only taken up 3 hobbies. Guitar, Computer and Cycling)

Trading her in is out of the question as someone else will want to give her right back after 3 days and want their money back. There is no point in getting a mistress because then I will get nagging in stereo and at the moment getting it in one ear is bad enough.

As a wise man once told me. "No matter how good looking they are, they are always busting someone's balls."

I have come to the conclusion that the definition love is how much you can tolerate your balls being busted.
Lapierre FDJ Di2

Image
User avatar
Panz05
 
Posts: 32
Joined: Tue Apr 23, 2013 2:21 pm
Location: Adelaide

Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh

Postby greyhoundtom » Fri Apr 26, 2013 10:59 pm

ft_critical wrote: I feel sometimes there is deliberate spite in her attempts to deny my attempts to ride even though I have stripped every pleasure from my life except cycling.

Sorry mate but she needs a serious talking to. :roll:
User avatar
greyhoundtom
 
Posts: 2545
Joined: Sun May 31, 2009 6:28 am
Location: Narre Warren, Victoria

Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh

Postby toolonglegs » Fri Apr 26, 2013 11:11 pm

My wife has zero interest in cycling... and now that my 9 year son has stolen her long unused mtb, she hasn't even got a bike!... although I keep telling her she should ride a VeloV to work from the station as it would save here 15 minutes commute. But she has no issues with me going away to foreign countries to help out on teams even though I don't get paid, spending 4 weeks around June / July away at the tour de france ( I do get paid for that! ), race many weekends, disappear for 3 day stage races every so often... to top it off she is pushing me to get my son into cycling as well :lol: .
I know I'm lucky... added bonus she is pretty hot :mrgreen: .
Sorry Ft... better not mention to her too much that we are maybe meeting up for a race in July :lol: .
Image
User avatar
toolonglegs
 
Posts: 14382
Joined: Fri Jun 29, 2007 7:49 pm
Location: Somewhere with padded walls and really big hills!

Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh

Postby wombatK » Fri Apr 26, 2013 11:13 pm

So is your obsession her only obsession ?
WombatK

Somebody has to do something, and it's just incredibly pathetic that it has to be us -Jerry Garcia
User avatar
wombatK
 
Posts: 5214
Joined: Thu Jul 10, 2008 9:08 pm
Location: Yagoona, AU

Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh

Postby BandedRail » Fri Apr 26, 2013 11:47 pm

I'm lucky, my wife in not a morning person so on the weekends if I head out at 5:30 am I can get back some time between 8 and 9 and find her with her 1st coffee of the day and a general "can't talk, still waking up" attitide. Audax rides are tricker, especially after I broke my collar bone a few years ago (even though it wasn't an Audax ride) - she worries a bit which is quite sweet really. I have been known to distort the the truth somewhat & say it's a supported ride or a group ride (haha, ever seen an Audax group ride? 10 riders stretched over 2 km, blimmin' funny concept of a group). I have reduced the number of kms I do a year though, I actually enjoy spending time with my beloved (yes, still early days, together for 9 years, married for 3).
User avatar
BandedRail
 
Posts: 431
Joined: Mon Mar 23, 2009 11:31 pm
Location: Bayswater, Perth WA

Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh

Postby Fresh » Sat Apr 27, 2013 12:21 am

Sounds like a shocking life. I'd leave her.
Fresh
 
Posts: 428
Joined: Tue Jul 20, 2010 10:25 am
Location: Sydney

Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh

Postby bigfriendlyvegan » Sat Apr 27, 2013 1:23 am

My missus doesn't cycle, but now the kids are racing too, she runs the canteen at the velodrome.

She often tells me to go out for a ride and she expects me spend time on the trainer a few evenings a week. She likes me better when I cycle. She's come to realise that I'm taking care of myself for her.
User avatar
bigfriendlyvegan
 
Posts: 3101
Joined: Tue Apr 01, 2008 1:18 pm
Location: Denistone, NSW

Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh

Postby foo on patrol » Sat Apr 27, 2013 7:33 am

Dr_Mutley wrote:Trade her in on a newer, less demanding model...


Yep! Seriously FT what sort of a life is that, where you can't do something that you enjoy without pandering to some demanding person??? :(

Taking away lifes little pleasures will leed to resentment later and what came first, the cycling or the demanding one? :?

I would have a dummy spit big time, if it were me. :mrgreen:

Foo
I don't suffer fools easily and so long as you have done your best,you should have no regrets.
Goal 6000km
Image
User avatar
foo on patrol
 
Posts: 4457
Joined: Sat Dec 19, 2009 10:12 am
Location: Sanstone Point QLD

Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh

Postby CatCanRide » Sat Apr 27, 2013 8:07 am

O.K. here is a tip for those of you guys that are still single.

When you first meet that potential new love of your life of the female variety simply make it clear at the outset that you are really into your cycling and the one thing she must promise to do is to never give you grief about it if she wants to go out with you.

When I met my hubby he was riding motorbikes and it was a stipulation that he gave me. 21 years later he now has 3 bikes in the garage and is currently away for a long weekend on the motorbike and I have never given him grief re his addiction to riding. I always knew it was part of who he was and non negotiable. That upfront discussion saved a lot of grief. I'm sure that this would cross over to a cycling addiction.

Of course, finding a lady who equally shares your passion for cycling would be the ultimate solution.
User avatar
CatCanRide
 
Posts: 67
Joined: Sun Feb 05, 2012 5:21 pm

Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh

Postby jamesn184 » Sat Apr 27, 2013 8:16 am

ft_critical wrote:So my wife hates cycling. I feel sometimes there is deliberate spite in her attempts to deny my attempts to ride even though I have stripped every pleasure from my life except cycling. I do anything to cycle. E.g., I start out at 0400, ride 100, do chores, go out to diner with her until 10pm (seriously I am delirious by that time.) etc

Most years I negotiate a month in advance.

This year, I laid out the principals and the programme.

Here is what I found out she hates… I phrase this in terms of my actions:
• If I say I will be home by 0930 I will never be late,
• I will not mean being home at 0930 plus hanging around in smelly cycling kit, uploading my data, eating toast, and generally loafing about. The secret is, get uncycling ASAP. Then stay uncycling all day.
• Don’t give away that you are thinking of cycling the night before. So I will not prepare my cycling kit, breakfast, etc the night before. There will be no signs of cycling in the house before or after cycling. Sorry that is gold.

My intransient routine, will have more flex. Some mornings at 0800 I will be in the house relaxed wearing pyjamas, talking about what we do for the rest of the day. Gold: but I can cycle in the afternoon.
In essence, there must be no outward sign of the obsession.


I feel for you mate, my wife was like that to start with.... but she's finally warmed up to watching cycling
But still makes my life a hard when I go for long rides some times.. it all depends on what "Wife" I wake up with.. if its the happy version then it's all good.. but if it's the cranky one then well I tend to cop a whinge


My advise to you is that if she hasn't warmed up to it.. then either:
A) Ignore her complaints
B) Tell her to if she doesn't like it then that's just life and remind her that you have to do things you don't like
Image
jamesn184
 
Posts: 448
Joined: Sun Feb 19, 2012 10:54 pm

Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh

Postby foo on patrol » Sat Apr 27, 2013 8:34 am

CatCanRide wrote:O.K. here is a tip for those of you guys that are still single.

When you first meet that potential new love of your life of the female variety simply make it clear at the outset that you are really into your cycling and the one thing she must promise to do is to never give you grief about it if she wants to go out with you.

When I met my hubby he was riding motorbikes and it was a stipulation that he gave me. 21 years later he now has 3 bikes in the garage and is currently away for a long weekend on the motorbike and I have never given him grief re his addiction to riding. I always knew it was part of who he was and non negotiable. That upfront discussion saved a lot of grief. I'm sure that this would cross over to a cycling addiction.

Of course, finding a lady who equally shares your passion for cycling would be the ultimate solution.


You're a good girl! :mrgreen:

Foo
I don't suffer fools easily and so long as you have done your best,you should have no regrets.
Goal 6000km
Image
User avatar
foo on patrol
 
Posts: 4457
Joined: Sat Dec 19, 2009 10:12 am
Location: Sanstone Point QLD

Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh

Postby ZepinAtor » Sat Apr 27, 2013 8:49 am

Opposite end of the scale here :)

My Wife has 8 (functional) bikes in the house along with my 7 + 3 ornamental ones. She often downloads my training files for me along with hers & organises training rides, race calendar events & wants me to ride more.

I can vividly remember one cold winters night as the rain was pouring down & I turned to see her fully kitted up, rain jacket, booties, long gloves.....me, jumper, trackie pants, poodle, fireplace.

There's always a bling comp going on here. There isn't one corner of the house without some sort of cycling theme going on. We have an MTB disc rotor paper towel dispenser in the kitchen, 14 bike chains for a handrail on our main stair case, a Cinelli stem toilet roll holder & a chain + big ring carved into the coffee table to hold the TV remotes.

The forth bedroom is now a dedicated bike mechanical repair zone with an active airline fed from a compressor in the garage next door. Bikes don't go in the garage...that's for tools & junk. The 3rd bedroom is full of bikes. We have a bike parked in the kitchen & her filthy commuter bike against the piano in the lounge.

My Wife has smashed 4 helmets, broken 2 collar bones & fractured her pelvis...........................................

& she's pretty hot (apart from her metal shoulder which is just too horrible to touch)
Gas propulsion.......it's natural don't fight it.
User avatar
ZepinAtor
 
Posts: 1446
Joined: Fri Nov 26, 2010 6:46 pm
Location: Brizzzzbane Everton Hillzzzz

Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh

Postby JessicaAlba » Sat Apr 27, 2013 10:12 am

I really think this is poor form on your wife's part. What you do, what all of us here do, is not just a hobby or a passion, it is a means of keeping active and healthy.

If she is not supportive of you doing something that you enjoy, as well as having a husband that is fit, then I think serious questions need to be asked. And that you need to skulk around in the shadows and pretend that "there's nothing to see here, I'm not cycling, or doing anything wrong, at all...", is also very poor. My GF has no interest in cycling at all, and I will admit to boring her stupid with facts and details and delusions of grandeur at times, but I know she would never stop me going for a ride.

I could understand if your wife had issues with your hobby of making snot-ball castles on the kitchen table, or trapping neighbourhood pets for personal gratification, but to try to prevent you from doing something good for yourself?? Woman needs to take a long hard look at herself and ask herself exactly what her husband means to her. No one should be treated that way in a relationship.
Felt F2/DuraAce/FSA/RS80s (DA7850 hubs)/Schwalbe Durano S
JessicaAlba
 
Posts: 196
Joined: Fri Jun 15, 2012 10:40 am
Location: Cans

Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh

Postby Apple » Sat Apr 27, 2013 10:21 am

I think she is worried about you. On a serious note, I think most spouses are worried about their cycling partners when they are out. Assure her that you ride in safe places
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Speak your mind,Those that mind dont matter, Those that matter dont mind!!
User avatar
Apple
 
Posts: 3459
Joined: Sun Apr 11, 2010 4:00 pm
Location: sydney

Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh

Postby ldrcycles » Sat Apr 27, 2013 10:32 am

I'm with BandedRail and JessicaAlba, my wife DOESN'T cycle, she doesn't really hate it, she just has no interest in doing it (although apparently i can't sell the beautiful, almost unused hybrid i got her because "it's MY bike!").

But as much as she has no interest in cycling herself, she would NEVER stop me from doing it, she knows that is my passion and it makes me happy.Happy wife, happy life goes the other way too :) . A few years ago when i had a crash that rearranged my face and removed 3 teeth my mother in law told her "you have to stop him, it's too dangerous" to which she laughed and explained the impossibility of any such attempt.
When man invented the bicycle he reached the peak of his attainments- Elizabeth West.
User avatar
ldrcycles
 
Posts: 6668
Joined: Thu Oct 28, 2010 2:19 pm
Location: Kin Kin, Queensland

Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh

Postby BrisVegas » Sat Apr 27, 2013 10:56 am

Great thread! I'm relatively new to cycling but have been a serious golfer for the whole time since meeting my wife. I get less grief about cycling, but it is still grief all the same. The answer is balance. .. I struggle with it constantly!
Litespeed Tuscany Ti & Trek 8000 rigid MTB
BrisVegas
 
Posts: 574
Joined: Wed Jan 27, 2010 8:37 pm
Location: Bardon, QLD

Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh

Postby Pax » Sat Apr 27, 2013 11:28 am

Apple wrote:I think she is worried about you. On a serious note, I think most spouses are worried about their cycling partners when they are out. Assure her that you ride in safe places


2nd attemp to post this...got logged out the first time... :x

I agree with Apple.

My beautiful spouse finds riding in traffic terrifying (though in our younger days she used to ride on our tandem into the city and back with me), helmet-less (pre-mandatory helmet laws), and she worries about me, especially when I am commuting or out riding narrow windy country or mountain roads.

After 34 years together I have finally given up trying to convert her, or expecting her to not worry so now I accept that:

1. We can enjoy a bit of bike path /very quiet back street riding together, but nothing more is going to happen
2. she isn't interested in getting a better bike (even though I "know" she'd enjoy it more) so I have just made her 30 year old Malvern Star step-through as comfortable to ride as possible
3. she isn't interested in my bikes, cadence, bunches, or any close calls etc, but does enjoy hearing about the scenery, the good company, whether I enjoyed myself or not (not sure if I have ever "not enjoyed myself" on the bike...even when it has been hard) etc so I try not to bore her with the detail, but I don't hide the fact that riding is part of who I am; even when I am off the bike due to work or family time pressures
4. It is really just dumb to have her looking over my shoulder if I am on this site or any other cycling forum, because there is such a significant proportion of it taken up with car:bike agro, ped:bike agro, bike:bike agro, bad cyclist behaviour, accidents, injuries etc (why the freak is that????????)

Much as I desperately wish that she shared the passion for cycling, she doesn't and won't, but she shares the passion for fishing, so you can't win them all (oh and she's hot :wink: )

Image

Image

Image
User avatar
Pax
 
Posts: 1207
Joined: Sun Aug 03, 2008 5:23 pm
Location: Pine Rivers, Qld

Next

Return to General discussion

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Boognoss



Popular Bike Shops
Torpedo 7 Torpedo7 AU
Ground Effect Ground Effect NZ
Chain Reaction Cycles CRC UK
Wiggle Wiggle UK
Ebay Ebay AU

“Bicycles BNA Twitter
“Bicycles BNA Facebook
“Google+ BNA Google+
“Bicycles BNA Newsletter

> FREE BNA Stickers
> BNA Cycling Kit