open topic, for anything cycling related.
So my wife hates cycling. I feel sometimes there is deliberate spite in her attempts to deny my attempts to ride even though I have stripped every pleasure from my life except cycling. I do anything to cycle. E.g., I start out at 0400, ride 100, do chores, go out to diner with her until 10pm (seriously I am delirious by that time.) etc
Most years I negotiate a month in advance.
This year, I laid out the principals and the programme.
Here is what I found out she hates… I phrase this in terms of my actions:
• If I say I will be home by 0930 I will never be late,
• I will not mean being home at 0930 plus hanging around in smelly cycling kit, uploading my data, eating toast, and generally loafing about. The secret is, get uncycling ASAP. Then stay uncycling all day.
• Don’t give away that you are thinking of cycling the night before. So I will not prepare my cycling kit, breakfast, etc the night before. There will be no signs of cycling in the house before or after cycling. Sorry that is gold.
My intransient routine, will have more flex. Some mornings at 0800 I will be in the house relaxed wearing pyjamas, talking about what we do for the rest of the day. Gold: but I can cycle in the afternoon.
In essence, there must be no outward sign of the obsession.
London Boy 29/12/2011
wait until you retire....and she'll be pleading with you to bugger off out of the house, 4 hours minimum.
2 mths cycling France? no problem.
I have been with mine for 18 years and she has hated every hobby I have taken up. (I have only taken up 3 hobbies. Guitar, Computer and Cycling)
Trading her in is out of the question as someone else will want to give her right back after 3 days and want their money back. There is no point in getting a mistress because then I will get nagging in stereo and at the moment getting it in one ear is bad enough.
As a wise man once told me. "No matter how good looking they are, they are always busting someone's balls."
I have come to the conclusion that the definition love is how much you can tolerate your balls being busted.
Sorry mate but she needs a serious talking to.
My wife has zero interest in cycling... and now that my 9 year son has stolen her long unused mtb, she hasn't even got a bike!... although I keep telling her she should ride a VeloV to work from the station as it would save here 15 minutes commute. But she has no issues with me going away to foreign countries to help out on teams even though I don't get paid, spending 4 weeks around June / July away at the tour de france ( I do get paid for that! ), race many weekends, disappear for 3 day stage races every so often... to top it off she is pushing me to get my son into cycling as well .
I know I'm lucky... added bonus she is pretty hot .
Sorry Ft... better not mention to her too much that we are maybe meeting up for a race in July .
I'm lucky, my wife in not a morning person so on the weekends if I head out at 5:30 am I can get back some time between 8 and 9 and find her with her 1st coffee of the day and a general "can't talk, still waking up" attitide. Audax rides are tricker, especially after I broke my collar bone a few years ago (even though it wasn't an Audax ride) - she worries a bit which is quite sweet really. I have been known to distort the the truth somewhat & say it's a supported ride or a group ride (haha, ever seen an Audax group ride? 10 riders stretched over 2 km, blimmin' funny concept of a group). I have reduced the number of kms I do a year though, I actually enjoy spending time with my beloved (yes, still early days, together for 9 years, married for 3).
My missus doesn't cycle, but now the kids are racing too, she runs the canteen at the velodrome.
She often tells me to go out for a ride and she expects me spend time on the trainer a few evenings a week. She likes me better when I cycle. She's come to realise that I'm taking care of myself for her.
Yep! Seriously FT what sort of a life is that, where you can't do something that you enjoy without pandering to some demanding person???
Taking away lifes little pleasures will leed to resentment later and what came first, the cycling or the demanding one?
I would have a dummy spit big time, if it were me.
I don't suffer fools easily and so long as you have done your best,you should have no regrets.
O.K. here is a tip for those of you guys that are still single.
When you first meet that potential new love of your life of the female variety simply make it clear at the outset that you are really into your cycling and the one thing she must promise to do is to never give you grief about it if she wants to go out with you.
When I met my hubby he was riding motorbikes and it was a stipulation that he gave me. 21 years later he now has 3 bikes in the garage and is currently away for a long weekend on the motorbike and I have never given him grief re his addiction to riding. I always knew it was part of who he was and non negotiable. That upfront discussion saved a lot of grief. I'm sure that this would cross over to a cycling addiction.
Of course, finding a lady who equally shares your passion for cycling would be the ultimate solution.
I feel for you mate, my wife was like that to start with.... but she's finally warmed up to watching cycling
But still makes my life a hard when I go for long rides some times.. it all depends on what "Wife" I wake up with.. if its the happy version then it's all good.. but if it's the cranky one then well I tend to cop a whinge
My advise to you is that if she hasn't warmed up to it.. then either:
A) Ignore her complaints
B) Tell her to if she doesn't like it then that's just life and remind her that you have to do things you don't like
You're a good girl!
I don't suffer fools easily and so long as you have done your best,you should have no regrets.
Opposite end of the scale here
My Wife has 8 (functional) bikes in the house along with my 7 + 3 ornamental ones. She often downloads my training files for me along with hers & organises training rides, race calendar events & wants me to ride more.
I can vividly remember one cold winters night as the rain was pouring down & I turned to see her fully kitted up, rain jacket, booties, long gloves.....me, jumper, trackie pants, poodle, fireplace.
There's always a bling comp going on here. There isn't one corner of the house without some sort of cycling theme going on. We have an MTB disc rotor paper towel dispenser in the kitchen, 14 bike chains for a handrail on our main stair case, a Cinelli stem toilet roll holder & a chain + big ring carved into the coffee table to hold the TV remotes.
The forth bedroom is now a dedicated bike mechanical repair zone with an active airline fed from a compressor in the garage next door. Bikes don't go in the garage...that's for tools & junk. The 3rd bedroom is full of bikes. We have a bike parked in the kitchen & her filthy commuter bike against the piano in the lounge.
My Wife has smashed 4 helmets, broken 2 collar bones & fractured her pelvis...........................................
& she's pretty hot (apart from her metal shoulder which is just too horrible to touch)
Gas propulsion.......it's natural don't fight it.
I really think this is poor form on your wife's part. What you do, what all of us here do, is not just a hobby or a passion, it is a means of keeping active and healthy.
If she is not supportive of you doing something that you enjoy, as well as having a husband that is fit, then I think serious questions need to be asked. And that you need to skulk around in the shadows and pretend that "there's nothing to see here, I'm not cycling, or doing anything wrong, at all...", is also very poor. My GF has no interest in cycling at all, and I will admit to boring her stupid with facts and details and delusions of grandeur at times, but I know she would never stop me going for a ride.
I could understand if your wife had issues with your hobby of making snot-ball castles on the kitchen table, or trapping neighbourhood pets for personal gratification, but to try to prevent you from doing something good for yourself?? Woman needs to take a long hard look at herself and ask herself exactly what her husband means to her. No one should be treated that way in a relationship.
Felt F2/DuraAce/FSA/RS80s (DA7850 hubs)/Schwalbe Durano S
I think she is worried about you. On a serious note, I think most spouses are worried about their cycling partners when they are out. Assure her that you ride in safe places
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Speak your mind,Those that mind dont matter, Those that matter dont mind!!
I'm with BandedRail and JessicaAlba, my wife DOESN'T cycle, she doesn't really hate it, she just has no interest in doing it (although apparently i can't sell the beautiful, almost unused hybrid i got her because "it's MY bike!").
But as much as she has no interest in cycling herself, she would NEVER stop me from doing it, she knows that is my passion and it makes me happy.Happy wife, happy life goes the other way too . A few years ago when i had a crash that rearranged my face and removed 3 teeth my mother in law told her "you have to stop him, it's too dangerous" to which she laughed and explained the impossibility of any such attempt.
When man invented the bicycle he reached the peak of his attainments- Elizabeth West.
Great thread! I'm relatively new to cycling but have been a serious golfer for the whole time since meeting my wife. I get less grief about cycling, but it is still grief all the same. The answer is balance. .. I struggle with it constantly!
Litespeed Tuscany Ti, Trek Superfly AL 29er, Trek 8000 rigid MTB
2nd attemp to post this...got logged out the first time...
I agree with Apple.
My beautiful spouse finds riding in traffic terrifying (though in our younger days she used to ride on our tandem into the city and back with me), helmet-less (pre-mandatory helmet laws), and she worries about me, especially when I am commuting or out riding narrow windy country or mountain roads.
After 34 years together I have finally given up trying to convert her, or expecting her to not worry so now I accept that:
1. We can enjoy a bit of bike path /very quiet back street riding together, but nothing more is going to happen
2. she isn't interested in getting a better bike (even though I "know" she'd enjoy it more) so I have just made her 30 year old Malvern Star step-through as comfortable to ride as possible
3. she isn't interested in my bikes, cadence, bunches, or any close calls etc, but does enjoy hearing about the scenery, the good company, whether I enjoyed myself or not (not sure if I have ever "not enjoyed myself" on the bike...even when it has been hard) etc so I try not to bore her with the detail, but I don't hide the fact that riding is part of who I am; even when I am off the bike due to work or family time pressures
4. It is really just dumb to have her looking over my shoulder if I am on this site or any other cycling forum, because there is such a significant proportion of it taken up with car:bike agro, ped:bike agro, bike:bike agro, bad cyclist behaviour, accidents, injuries etc (why the freak is that????????)
Much as I desperately wish that she shared the passion for cycling, she doesn't and won't, but she shares the passion for fishing, so you can't win them all (oh and she's hot )
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