+1, that's the key to a really happy relationship IMO.foo on patrol wrote: Marriage is give and take = compromise on issues of me time on both sides. 31yrs of marriage here and two kids.
Foo
Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh
- ldrcycles
- Posts: 9594
- Joined: Thu Oct 28, 2010 3:19 pm
- Location: Kin Kin, Queensland
Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh
Postby ldrcycles » Sat Apr 27, 2013 7:59 pm
- toolonglegs
- Posts: 15463
- Joined: Fri Jun 29, 2007 7:49 pm
- Location: Somewhere with padded walls and really big hills!
Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh
Postby toolonglegs » Sat Apr 27, 2013 8:49 pm
+1bychosis wrote:Need some pictures of these please!ZepinAtor wrote:There's always a bling comp going on here. There isn't one corner of the house without some sort of cycling theme going on. We have an MTB disc rotor paper towel dispenser in the kitchen, 14 bike chains for a handrail on our main stair case, a Cinelli stem toilet roll holder & a chain + big ring carved into the coffee table to hold the TV remotes.
- ZepinAtor
- Posts: 1558
- Joined: Fri Nov 26, 2010 7:46 pm
- Location: Brizzzzbane Everton Hillzzzz
Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh
Postby ZepinAtor » Sat Apr 27, 2013 10:40 pm
You asked for ittoolonglegs wrote:+1bychosis wrote:Need some pictures of these please!ZepinAtor wrote:There's always a bling comp going on here. There isn't one corner of the house without some sort of cycling theme going on. We have an MTB disc rotor paper towel dispenser in the kitchen, 14 bike chains for a handrail on our main stair case, a Cinelli stem toilet roll holder & a chain + big ring carved into the coffee table to hold the TV remotes.
4th bedroom/bike repair room
Rock garden complete with cactus Sid race fork
-
- Posts: 66
- Joined: Sat Feb 18, 2012 7:34 pm
- Location: Sydney
Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh
Postby Petee » Sat Apr 27, 2013 10:44 pm
-
- Posts: 702
- Joined: Fri Apr 02, 2010 2:46 pm
- Location: Bridgewater, SA
Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh
Postby arkle » Sat Apr 27, 2013 10:54 pm
instagram: @stevehargreavesartwork
- toolonglegs
- Posts: 15463
- Joined: Fri Jun 29, 2007 7:49 pm
- Location: Somewhere with padded walls and really big hills!
Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh
Postby toolonglegs » Sun Apr 28, 2013 1:21 am
- Pax
- Posts: 1277
- Joined: Sun Aug 03, 2008 5:23 pm
- Location: Sunshine Coast, Qld
Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh
Postby Pax » Sun Apr 28, 2013 5:35 am
+1toolonglegs wrote:Gold!
-
- Posts: 1150
- Joined: Fri Dec 16, 2011 3:47 pm
Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh
Postby gabrielle260 » Sun Apr 28, 2013 6:08 am
Hey Zep, I want to live at your house!!!!
- foo on patrol
- Posts: 9073
- Joined: Sat Dec 19, 2009 11:12 am
- Location: Sanstone Point QLD
Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh
Postby foo on patrol » Sun Apr 28, 2013 7:04 am
Foo
Goal 6000km
- wombatK
- Posts: 5612
- Joined: Thu Jul 10, 2008 9:08 pm
- Location: Yagoona, AU
Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh
Postby wombatK » Sun Apr 28, 2013 7:46 am
Very glad to hear you've resolved something positive from getting this off your chest, howeverft_critical wrote: FWIW, stripping away, means children first, work, wife, cycling and there is nothing left.
your priorities are a bit of a worry. It is a question of balance, but if you're priorities are
out of whack, you can't get that right.
If you get things right, your wife will be with you for the rest of your lives - even when too
old and frail to cycle. She deserves to be No.1 on the list.
Children might be there too, but they'll be turn out better for it if you don't presume that -
they might be too overwhelmed by their own family and work responsibilities for you to
rely on them still being there for you.
Cycling will be there as long as you want (and are fit & able to do it). But work owes
you no loyalty and no matter how good you think it is now, will be the most fickle
of your companions. It enables you to take care of the important things in your
life, but you shouldn't rate it so important that it leaves insufficient time for the
truly important people and interests.
Somebody has to do something, and it's just incredibly pathetic that it has to be us -Jerry Garcia
- ZepinAtor
- Posts: 1558
- Joined: Fri Nov 26, 2010 7:46 pm
- Location: Brizzzzbane Everton Hillzzzz
Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh
Postby ZepinAtor » Sun Apr 28, 2013 9:52 am
Sorry no room here This place is full of bikesgabrielle260 wrote:+1
Hey Zep, I want to live at your house!!!!
- Apple
- Posts: 3513
- Joined: Sun Apr 11, 2010 4:00 pm
- Location: sydney
Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh
Postby Apple » Sun Apr 28, 2013 11:29 am
ZepinAtor wrote:Sorry for the thread hijack Mr ft- , but this is almost relevant in an obscure way.
Sorry no room here This place is full of bikesgabrielle260 wrote:+1
Hey Zep, I want to live at your house!!!!
I think you better call the local council for pick up
Speak your mind,Those that mind dont matter, Those that matter dont mind!!
-
- Posts: 702
- Joined: Fri Apr 02, 2010 2:46 pm
- Location: Bridgewater, SA
Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh
Postby arkle » Sun Apr 28, 2013 2:00 pm
arkle
instagram: @stevehargreavesartwork
- Xplora
- Posts: 8272
- Joined: Sat Dec 11, 2010 12:33 am
- Location: TL;DR
Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh
Postby Xplora » Mon Apr 29, 2013 8:31 am
I'm looking forward to my boys being a bit older so they can come riding - currently my wife has not returned to riding regularly (she was the cyclist when we got married!) so she might change her mind as the kids get older. Ultimately, you have to do what you need to do. I've found cycling seems to tick enough boxes as a hobby for me that I'll keep it going for quite a while longer I think... as long as I'm not doing 500km weeks I think it should be OK? lol
- Summernight
- Posts: 2073
- Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2012 3:40 pm
- Location: Melbourne
Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh
Postby Summernight » Mon Apr 29, 2013 11:30 am
Frankly I would have thought it a clear no-brainer to allow your significant other to cycle as they get fit and can actually look years younger than they really are. I'd really prefer an active person to a couch potato who has no energy to do anything (including possibly not being able to be active with any children we might have).
Work should come last on the list of priorities. I've come to the realisation that employers pretty much don't give a rat's behind for their employees when their own profits may be at stake. You shouldn't put all your loyalty in them as they are unlikely to do the same for you when the cards are down. Of course, some employers are not like this, but most are.
Your own mental and physical health should be one of the first priorities as well (up there with the wife). If you are happy it will help to make everything and everyone else around you happy. Your wife should be striving to make this happen too (give and take goes both ways).
My horse-riding came before the partner and I think in that respect he understands that it is a part of me although he doesn't like that my horse takes me away for hours at a time. I have changed a few things around because he wasn't happy with the amount of time (or lack of it) we were spending together. I used to swim two evenings a week (in addition to playing organised matches another night a week). Then on the weekends I was away riding. We discussed things, I worked out a way to change my routine but still do what I was doing (I now swim early mornings instead of in the evenings, the sporting matches still go ahead and it actually works out better as I get up at the same time every morning to exercise before he's even woken up).
-
- Posts: 10332
- Joined: Thu Sep 18, 2008 12:10 pm
- Location: Sydney
Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh
Postby Nobody » Mon Apr 29, 2013 12:26 pm
I'm not going to presume to say what another person's priorities should be. And I agree that many employer's attitudes towards staff are that they are just numbers to be up and down sized. However, people who are successful at paying off a (usually very large) mortgage usually have a fairly good work ethic and place their employment/career/work high on their priority list. Especially if they are a single income family.Summernight wrote:Work should come last on the list of priorities. I've come to the realisation that employers pretty much don't give a rat's behind for their employees when their own profits may be at stake. You shouldn't put all your loyalty in them as they are unlikely to do the same for you when the cards are down. Of course, some employers are not like this, but most are.
- gorilla monsoon
- Posts: 3553
- Joined: Tue Aug 26, 2008 10:45 am
- Location: Lake Macquarie
Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh
Postby gorilla monsoon » Mon Apr 29, 2013 1:24 pm
-
- Posts: 200
- Joined: Fri Jun 15, 2012 10:40 am
- Location: Cans
Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh
Postby JessicaAlba » Mon Apr 29, 2013 1:33 pm
It is my experience, from watching other couples and just general life experience, that "foreign national" women can indeed be quite demanding and very sensitive. However... You've also mentioned something that has been raised in many responses here, and that is that marriage or relationships are a compromise, give and take. You say your wife craves quality family time and her resentment of your riding possibly stems from this. So...the question must be reversed: in which ways are you falling short in the give and take?? Do you work a lot? Do you spend a lot of time away from home, be that socially (at the pub), or professionally (work trips)? Do you give her the love and attention that you should? If she is craving that quality time with you and your riding seems to her just another excuse for you not to be in the house, maybe this is the issue??
Sorry, please don't think I am pre-judging. I am of course only responding to words on a computer screen and the situation for you is most likely far more complex. Your follow up post just struck me as an attempt to indicate it's actually not all your wife's fault...so, what percentage of this situation is accountable to you??
2014 Scott Addict Team Issue/DA9000/Syncros RL1.1/Zipp 404/Gatorskins
- queequeg
- Posts: 6485
- Joined: Thu Dec 17, 2009 10:09 am
Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh
Postby queequeg » Mon Apr 29, 2013 1:37 pm
My hobby before cycling was flying aerobatic planes out of Bankstown airport. Now that was an expensive hobby. Aside from having to spend $$$ keeping charts, documentation & medicals updated, there was the $250p/h cost of the actual aircraft. To stay proficient you need to fly at least an hour a week, so $13,000 a year just on aircraft hire. That would buy a lot of cycling kit!Xplora wrote:No comment... once you start doing some serious kms, cycling is a BIG time commitment. Surely more expensive than being a gym junkie, despite the protein and supplements.
-
- Posts: 951
- Joined: Sun Apr 15, 2012 1:43 pm
- Location: Watching the ships on the Southern Ocean
Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh
Postby ball bearing » Tue Apr 30, 2013 12:36 pm
Did you also strip all of your former pleasures from your life because of your wife's intimidation of you? There must be very deep personality issues on both sides to enable this pleasure prohibition in your marriage. Do you interfere with any of her pleasures?ft_critical wrote:I feel sometimes there is deliberate spite in her attempts to deny my attempts to ride even though I have stripped every pleasure from my life except cycling.
My wife is the exact opposite to yours. She actively encourages me to go for a ride because she knows that I love cycling. She never complains when I spend hours in my workshop working on bikes or when I go for long rides.
We try and encourage one another to enjoy our different pursuits.
- twizzle
- Posts: 6402
- Joined: Wed Aug 13, 2008 11:45 am
- Location: Highlands of Wales.
Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh
Postby twizzle » Tue Apr 30, 2013 12:51 pm
Or someone can go and create a new thread discussing relative merits of relationships.
...real cyclists don't have squeaky chains...
-
- Posts: 951
- Joined: Sun Apr 15, 2012 1:43 pm
- Location: Watching the ships on the Southern Ocean
Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh
Postby ball bearing » Tue Apr 30, 2013 12:58 pm
Is this the topic of the thread? Sorry if I misread the title.twizzle wrote:How about we keep this thread for discussion of zep's house and not give ft any more grief.
Isn't that the topic of this thread?Or someone can go and create a new thread discussing relative merits of relationships.
- trailgumby
- Posts: 15469
- Joined: Sat Jan 03, 2009 5:30 pm
- Location: Northern Beaches, Sydney
- Contact:
Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh
Postby trailgumby » Tue Apr 30, 2013 1:04 pm
I think the initial post and responses have probably been helpful in teasing out issues, but I agree further discussion is unlikely to be productive.gorilla monsoon wrote:Seriously, is this the place to air the dirty family linen? Seems to me the OP and his wife should be talking to a marriage guidance counsellor rather than him posting to a bunch of anonymous people on a forum. Either that or he should have framed the terms of reference differently.
A counsellor will help by holding up a mirror to both parties and encourage them to face up to thinking and behaviours that are impacting each other, and whether some of the expectations of each party may have are realistic.
Mods, out of respect for the OP I think a lock on this thread would be appropriate.
We can start a new one for drooling over Zep's "garden" and cunning household adornments
- Summernight
- Posts: 2073
- Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2012 3:40 pm
- Location: Melbourne
Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh
Postby Summernight » Tue Apr 30, 2013 1:10 pm
I believe it was, but I also think people are now slowly moving on from there (possibly hoping this thread would die???) due to ft_critical's updates. The first couple of posts by ft_critical don't really pose his wife in the best of lights and I think that was unintentional.ball bearing wrote:Is this the topic of the thread? Sorry if I misread the title.twizzle wrote:How about we keep this thread for discussion of zep's house and not give ft any more grief.
Isn't that the topic of this thread?Or someone can go and create a new thread discussing relative merits of relationships.
Locking is probably the best idea if ft_critical believes this thread has run its course.
-
- Posts: 951
- Joined: Sun Apr 15, 2012 1:43 pm
- Location: Watching the ships on the Southern Ocean
Re: Wives – pssst new secret information…. Shhhh
Postby ball bearing » Tue Apr 30, 2013 1:11 pm
Shame really. Relationship discussions strike a commonality in the hearts and minds of cyclists, just like anyone else.trailgumby wrote:I think the initial post and responses have probably been helpful in teasing out issues, but I agree further discussion is unlikely to be productive.gorilla monsoon wrote:Seriously, is this the place to air the dirty family linen? Seems to me the OP and his wife should be talking to a marriage guidance counsellor rather than him posting to a bunch of anonymous people on a forum. Either that or he should have framed the terms of reference differently.
Return to “General Cycling Discussion”
- General Australian Cycling Topics
- Info / announcements
- Buying a bike / parts
- General Cycling Discussion
- The Bike Shed
- Cycling Health
- Cycling Safety and Advocacy
- Women's Cycling
- Bike & Gear Reviews
- Cycling Trade
- Stolen Bikes
- Bicycle FAQs
- The Market Place
- Member to Member Bike and Gear Sales
- Want to Buy, Group Buy, Swap
- My Bikes or Gear Elsewhere
- Serious Biking
- Audax / Randonneuring
- Retro biking
- Commuting
- MTB
- Recumbents
- Fixed Gear/ Single Speed
- Track
- Electric Bicycles
- Cyclocross and Gravel Grinding
- Dragsters / Lowriders / Cruisers
- Children's Bikes
- Cargo Bikes and Utility Cycling
- Road Racing
- Road Biking
- Training
- Time Trial
- Triathlon
- International and National Tours and Events
- Cycle Touring
- Touring Australia
- Touring Overseas
- Touring Bikes and Equipment
- Australia
- Western Australia
- New South Wales
- Queensland
- South Australia
- Victoria
- ACT
- Tasmania
- Northern Territory
- Country & Regional
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: NewCyclist
- All times are UTC+10:00
- Top
- Delete cookies
About the Australian Cycling Forums
The Australian Cycling Forums is a welcoming community where you can ask questions and talk about the type of bikes and cycling topics you like.
Bicycles Network Australia
Forum Information
Connect with BNA
This website uses affiliate links to retail platforms including ebay, amazon, proviz and ribble.